New to this; curious where I fit in?

I've always been an independent, strong willed guy; I'm in good shape, and I've never had any issues standing my ground. As far back as I can remember, girls have generally wanted me more than I wanted them. Most of them were not very desirable, but some were. Dating was never a problem, if I was interested in a girl, I'd talk to them. I got shot down a few times, but not many.

When I was 19, I met a Texas 10; girls from Texas are hot, so a Texas 5 would be an Illinois 8. She was nice, funny, and smokin hot. I started dating her, but we hadn't had sex.

Before I go on, a little back story is necessary.

I thought I was a real badass in high school. I liked to fight, and had done many things that could have ended me. Best case scenario, I was headed toward prison. I got a job working for a guy that had been an enforcer with a motorcycle club. He was the baddest dude I had ever met. 6'6, and about 285; he was the most badass guy I'd ever met. I respected badass. Through some series of events, prior to me meeting him, he broke his leg off, and became a born again Christian. Shortly after starting work with this guy, I got Into a drunken fight with 4 or 5 guys and their car; I almost died. All of the things he had been telling me, suddenly rang true. I gave my life to Jesus, and haven't looked back. I'm not preaching or proselytizing here, this is an integral part of the story.

It was shortly thereafter that I met the Texas 10. Because of my relationship with God, I believed (still do, but that's of no importance) that sex outside of marriage was a bad idea. She was everything I could ever ask for, so we got married. We had 3 kids together over 13 years, life was good.

In the last 2 years, my wife has had some serious psychological and emotional issues. Long story short, she left me.

I love my kids more than anything. I spent 2 hours yesterday playing dolls with my daughter. I love my kids more than words can express. I change diapers, do dishes, sing Caillou songs; all of the beta things I've seen here.

So, new to the dating scene, after a 16 year hyatus, I'm much more the supportive, dependable type. From what I can tell, that's beta behavior. I have a tough guy job, but I really don't feel like a tough guy, or alpha, as TRP would say. I like to listen to women, and try to understand their feelings; it seems foreign and mysterious to me. I fully realize they're all crazy; but I know both sides of their brain are connected, so emotion and logic are the same in their mind. It's interesting as hell to me.

Before anyone says my wife left me because I'm a bitch; that may be the case, but no other women I've talked to lately have shared the sentiment. I'm 35, and, like I said, have a tough guy job. I've talked to a few women since my divorce, but it's mostly been me having to pry the desperate ones off me. The ones I've talked to have been younger than me and very good looking. All of this without any of the alpha stuff I keep reading about. I really don't feel like I have anything to prove at this point, and I'm trying to be the understanding, sensitive type. From what I've read here, that would be characterized as beta behavior.

I'm new to the forum, and I'm curious where I stand in this red pill universe. From what I'm reading, it seems I'm an alpha, trying to be a beta. I'd figure that would be frowned upon.

Please, give me your thoughts.