I'm a 23 year old female. I have been involved with my ex on and off for 5 years. He is the only man I've slept with in those 5 years, despite being broken up for the past (almost) 2 years. He has a lot of good qualities: funny, confident, good looking. In the beginning of our relationship, he was very sweet to me. And then, things changed. I guess I'm just looking for advice, input, insight, anything really. This is a long post-sorry for rambling. I'm asking this subreddit because I trust the advice from you guys. I think you know more about men (or at least good ones) than some of my other options on here.

2011: Where our problems started: He struggled with a gambling addiction for about a year of our relationship. Sometimes I wouldn't see him for over a week (we lived in the same neighborhood) because work and gambling had taken over his life. I loaned him money for rent when he lost his paycheck on more than one occasion.

2012:He decided to come with me when I got accepted to a very prestigious university in another state. Gambling was much less of a problem here. He got a job that was incredibly physically grueling and worked 60+ hours/week. However, I was still paying the rent, groceries, his car payment, etc. After two months, he quit and I didn't blame him-that job sucked. But now, the financial responsibility weighed on me even more. My savings were dwindling.

To top this off, he stopped wanting to have sex with me or caring if I got off. I tried initiating several times a week. I'd straddle him or just start blowing him while he played video games-he showed no interest. He was also very cold to me. Example: I left town to see my family for three days at one point and when I came back, he didn't hug me or say anything other than "hey" when I walked in.

Another night, I suggested we go to a strip club to celebrate something trivial. I bought him a couple lap dances, paid our entrance fees, etc. I thought we had a good time. He seemed happy and then suddenly "turned off". That's the best way to describe it. He wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't touch me. I felt like shit when I got home and for the next two days, I slept on the couch. He never told me what was wrong. Two days of not talking and I come home and he's being sweet to me all of a sudden.

After a year of these occurrences and this being the norm, I finally asked him to leave my place. He was "turned off" almost all the time: not just physically, but also emotionally. It was like...he hated me. Sounds dramatic, but there's no better way to describe it. He also owed me several thousands of dollars, and had shown no intention of taking financial responsibility for anything. But more than that, I couldn't handle how distant he acted towards me. At that point, I hadn't gotten off in over 4 months.

2013: we maintain contact and become friendly again after about 6 months. In august, I see him for the first time in 10 weeks and he's nicer to me than he's been in years. Holding me, kissing me, inviting me out with his friends. He tells me he wants me back and we have mindblowing sex. A month later, he changes his mind. This happens repeatedly for about 9 months.

2014: still playing back and forth. He tells me he wants to remain monogamous to me and hook up with me, but he doesn't want a relationship. He is steadfast in this. It's important to note that he has paid me back and has a much higher sexual interest in me as of the last year.

I've tried my best to treat him as well as I can. What am I doing wrong? I just got contracted for OCS next summer, so I understand starting a relationship isn't smart anyway, but I can't see myself with anyone else. Am I being delusional? Am I just a plate to him at this point? I miss when he was sweet to me, and I hate feeling so worthless to someone I love so much.

EDIT: Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate it. I've blocked his number on my phone. I don't know why I held on for as long as I did, or why I excused his shit behavior. In any case, I feel like this is the right decision and I'll be sure to not have such low standards if I decide to date again.