To just get it out of the way - oneitis, yeah I know. Beta diary incoming. It’s embarrassing.

Started seeing this girl from work (shat where I ate) late last year. Invited her over, boned, let her stay the night - repeat almost daily for a month.

A week in I find out she is on a “break” from her bf, who I used to work with. He’s in college to be a doctor and is planning on moving (back) in with her in 3 weeks.

I’m pretending to be alpha and noncommittal, this whole time. Told her (and myself) it was just sex and company, nothing serious. I played the part well, until I started caving.

She starts calling me baby, I ignore (kind of). She tells me she wants to leave her boyfriend but can’t. She’s going to move in with him and still see me. “Do what you want but if you move back in with him, I’m out.”

I see her one last time before he comes home. We fuck and she tells me she loves me. I fall for it.

She moves back in with him and still sees me occasionally. She tells me eventually that we’re done, she’s going back to him “officially”. She needs to be faithful. I say okay, I still love you, beta shit, maybe we try again later, but you do you. Blah blah

So she just starts actually cheating on him instead. We fuck at their house the day after she ends it with me. And it goes back and forth like this for a while. We fuck a few times, she ends it, I say beta shit and try to spike her feelings, she comes back - repeat.

(I should mention her that she literally cut things off before her period, and came back every time she was ovulating, for three months straight - insane example of hypergamy.)

I show up at her house one day uninvited, ask to come in, and we fuck, the condom breaks, I don’t notice. Plan B, and another breakup speech.

She still thinks she’s preggo and panicking. I text her off and on until she has her period. She cries and says she still loves me, secretly devastated that she’s not preggo. Attraction fades over time, and she’s really done this time.

The End.

Except not. I decide to play a game one day. We’re texting and I mention that I’m gonna hang out with another girl from work, that I played her against from the start to artificially raise my SMV.

She loses it. She suddenly still loves me, and it’s so hard being stuck in her relationship while I get to do what, and who, I want. She was planning on starting to see me again, but can’t now, cause she’d feel like a slut (LOL).

The next day she asks to come over. We fuck twice, best sex ever, calls me daddy, before she sees a text from the other girl. Loses shit, can’t do this anymore, needs to be faithful, blah blah. “Okay, fine”. Wants to be friends. “No”.

Text her two days later, “I hope you know I really do love you, I just need to focus on myself. I have a busy year ahead of me”

She comes over that night. Tells me she’s leaving her boyfriend. Asks how she should do it. “Idk”.

This was the real end.

Two weeks of sparse contact later, she says she’s done for good, and means it. She’s lost interest in me at this point, or has reinvested in her bf. I can tell.

She tries to reel me in with fake feelings a few times, for the textual validation, and I initially cave before realizing its going nowhere.

———————-

Now, I tried to figure out, from a theory standpoint, what role I played this whole time -

I was the Chad, fucking this doctors girlfriend, trying to be alpha, while simultaneously hardcore beta oneitising over this girl, spilling my feelings repeatedly, and offering commitment to a committed woman.

I had all the RP knowledge, but I was a pussy. And the alpha shit only worked in person.

I ignored her, she ignored in kind - I offered emotion, she offered sex.

I had no frame control. I just tried shit until it worked.

It was completely counterintuitive.

Anyone have any insights on wtf was happening? Why did it work for so long to act beta and emotional?