Just made an acc, have followed trp for about 2 years. I am a 19 y/o powerlifter, 6'2 255 of muscle (natural so far) , white male, 7 1/2-8 looks. I dont drink, and rarely smoke. Mom died of cancer at 16, dad was in prison, just got out. Life has been a bitch thus far, so i became a savage in the gym to cope. I dont drink for optimal performance in the gym.

I am severely depressed and cant help it, and it is extremely difficult for me to be positive, the only way to stay neutral is lifting. I was so defenseless and sad in high school that I was totally blue pill, ended up with minimal hot girls as friends. Came to college, joined a fraternity, smashed alot of girls (easy bc of the drinking and bc they were hoes) yet made about 2 girl friends while the brothers hang with tons of babes constantly. I have the

I think i scare alot of girls because I look really intimidating (shaved head, Norse tattoos). I am seriously funny, I say that in confidence lol. Its hard for me to approach because girls literally get nervous it seems like, because they know Im a serious lifter and that I clearly dont party and it seems like I dont belong there out of the gate.

It feels like I have some negative energy around me, especially when Im sober, due to my constant depression. I dont feel connected with anyone really. (Had a LTR and was the complete master, eventually ended it bc she goes to college in another state).

I really appreciate this community as it has helped me see the world for what it really is. I know I dont know everything, but Im trying to make something of my pain. Any advice for how to improve, be more positive, little tricks for girls, idk. Lots of smart people here. Thanks in advance.