currently sitting alone in a London train station on a Friday night in London, seeing everyone enjoying their youth

I've previously tried walking around to try and get some sort of cathartic feeling by being so near the happy attractive normies that see me as ugly scum, but no epiphany ever appears. I'll probably just go home and fall asleep.

Life is worthless trash as an ugly friendless loser. My main pleasure in life is putting no effort in to my job without any guilt.

Background:

aged 26

no friends or social life since 18

no female attention ever

went through university with zero social experiences

became the loner nobody talks to within two days of my current job

never been to pub, club, or party

missed out on all the 16 - 22 formative social experiences that people look back on fondly (teen crushes, school prom, school dances, university fresher's week, any sort of relationships at all)

know that women all have 5000 tinder matches and think the average male is ugly