Before I found TRP I read something about how “Congruence” is the most attractive thing about people and it’s mainly what you should strive for. studies have shown congruence is one of the most important things in attraction. How can one become more congruent??

CainPrice · 2019-08-27T16:55:04+00:00

Congruence isn't the problem. Or more accurately, congruence itself -is- many guys' problem. When you're unattractive, timid, and have no game, and you go out there and be yourself, acting like a timid guy with no game, you are being 100% congruent with yourself. But you're not getting laid, are you?

When you dress better, fix your hair better, start working out, and stick to small-talk and act like a confident, cocky dude who banters with girls as you use game to fake it with women, you get laid. Even though you're being completely incongruent with yourself.

Sure, you would do a lot better with women if you were actually the guy you're pretending to be, or more accurately, if you could calibrate your game to better match who you really are. But it's not a lack of congruence that's making you suck with women.

I suppose it's a question of how good and convincing your game is. If you suck at game and it's obvious you're a timid little loser who's faking it, then everything you say and do just comes across as awkward and uncomfortable. There's definitely something to be said for finding a style and some areas of game that work best for you. I guess if that's all we mean by congruence, then that's pretty accurate.

TacticalTacktleneck · 2019-08-27T16:58:05+00:00

Correct me if I‘m wrong but isn‘t this what shit tests are all about? To see if you still act „congruent“ to the image you gave, when you‘re under pressure?

[deleted] · 2019-08-27T18:15:12+00:00

Be attractive and have frame.

PickUpScientist · 2019-08-27T18:59:56+00:00

make yourself into someone you can be proud of (physically, monetarily, visually, whatever your idea of cool is), then put yourself out there. at first, you will be a cool dude who acts like a beta, but after basking in the sunshine of compliments and random people hitting on you, confidence will come. once you have both the confidence and the qualities you are proud of, you will have the kind of congruence they are talking about.

WIA20XX · 2019-08-27T22:38:18+00:00

Congruence is a pickup concept that is mostly about being the cool dude that you are attempting to portray.

So if you're happy go lucky, you don't go emo.

If you're doing the strong alpha male thing, you don't bitch up when she throws you a shit test.

If you're doing the sensitive artist that's wild and unrestrained by convention - nothing is off limits.

However you present yourself to the girl, you stay congruent to that initial impression.

Guys will be all guns blazing with a chick, but go limp when her friends show up.

This whole thing comes out of the fake it to make it stage. These new behaviors towards women have to be towards everyone. You have to be who you present yourself to be.

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