So i got a fairly strange problem. A bit of a WOT, but bear with me.

It's not women related. TRP helped me so often and opened my eyes years ago, that I want your view on this, and maybe some food for thought how i could improve this issue. I'm not a wuss in my day to day life. In fact, I'm pretty good connected with people, leading in my cycle of friends, an alpha male. I'm tall, strong, I lift, I got hobbies, going to a good college and am the fucking man.

All in all life is good so far.

But if it comes to brutality in movies or series, I fucking choke out. I hate it. I can't watch it. Yeah funny, right?

Now don't get me wrong: splatter is another issue, i don't have any problem with that (for example i'm loving zombie movies/series where hordes of them are getting mowed down, receiving headshots or explode from whatever weapon and limbs flying everywhere).

But it's like a hypersensitivity with brutality, like torture or other gore (Hostel comes to mind, but also real gore on /r/wtf or police videos from liveleak). It's too much for me. I don't want to act like that, but i really get physical discomfort watching things like that. Another example would be a scene from "True Detective", I think episode 4 or 5, (SPOILER!) where woody harrelson apparently beats up two kids who fucked his daughter. I FUCKING SKIPPED IT BEFORE IT BEGAN. It was too much for me. There are numerous other scenes in series or movies. You get my idea. Another side of this problem is that I get intrusive thoughts about this kind of stuff. I think about the brutality, what happened in that scene, how it would be in real life etc. It's like daydreaming a nightmare. And I really drift away sometimes for minutes, just thinking about it.

Now many of you may think "Eh, then don't watch it". Fair enough. But my real problem lies in my hobby:

I do krav maga for years now, a form of self defense, and we learn things to get out of tough situations. Those things include kicks to the balls, breaking knees by kicking them trough (or breaking other joints for that matter), scratch eyes out - all that good stuff.

Now during training I have no problem with this, but I really am worried that I may choke out in real situations or a brawl, because brutality and violence is so unbearable for me - thus endangering me and beloved ones who i may protect.

I hope you get my idea.

Maybe you have an thought what i could do. The obvious thing would be "going out of my comfort zone" and just watch those damn scenes. The one thing which holds me back is that it really feels like a hypersensitivity (i get nightmares/daydreams) and this surely does not seem normal to me.

TL;DR: I'm a RedPill-Man who becomes a wuss when he is watching brutal television and worried that i might endanger myself and my beloved ones as i might choke out in tough situations / a brawl. What do?