30m I was never needy, I was a pump and dump guy all through my 20s. Had a big social life, work, gym, soccer that kept me busy etc. Got into my first ltr at 27 and mostly by ignoring her at first but she kept coming around chasing me so I caved. She was super obsessed like to a level I've never experienced like videos of me, posting on Instagram constantly obsessive comments and needy begging me to come over or talk on the phone every night, I was actually turned off by this. After reading trp she had alot of bpd traits and after a year or so she would constantly devalue me for my job, my life goals, my drinking, not giving her enough attention. It went from 10% bad days to 90% bad days at the end, but damn were the good days fucking amazing and the sex was amazing too. 2.5 yrs later i ended it when I had enough and I didn't want to change or move, she made an ultimatum to move. We split and she left the apt. I was happy she was gone, then covid hit and I lost my job. Begged embarrassingly begged her to come back she didn't, said she was dating someone else. We had a 2 week fling again after 8 months and I could not stop being so needy and desperate and again she cut it off. Again I degraded myself by calling and texting till I got blocked. Whats wierd is since she left I've been needy as hell with every girl, I lay in bed just lonely and needy, where as for 27 yrs I hated when women even stayed the night. Is it normal to turn into such a beta after a breakup? Did I become needy after I lost her neediness for me? Or is alot of this due to bars, gyms, soccer, job all gone for me? Her job stayed the same and her yoga is still in tact and she left me in the end so when we met again she had all the power. Whats wierd is its spilling into other girls now, when I never chased before or cared. Thinking it might be im detoxing from the obsessive love I got from a bpd girl, the other girls just don't act like that.