So my ex girlfriend broke up with me 1.5 months ago. We're both 20, we were together for 2 years. I was the definition of beta, did everything for her, backed down in every fight, depending solely on her for happiness/confidence, stopped talking to every other girl and all of my friends, became possessive and jealous. We broke up for 1 month and during that time she slept with 3 guys. I was the only one she had slept with before. I straight up called her a whore all of the time and got so jealous, like she just became a slut in my eyes, went to the club with friends and got blackout drunk and did disrespectful shit all the time. I always ended up apologizing for being a dick about it. but I wanted her to be like she was before. now I realize how shitty I became and understand a lot more since beginning redpill, but I have no confidence without her still, I have no motivation to do things. She was the hottest girl I've been with, I fucked it up and I don't feel like I'm capable of being with attractive women. I try to implement things I read on redpill but my beta thinking is ingrained too deeply. It's hard to be an alpha when I have zero confidence in myself. Having her was the thing that made me feel like I was good enough to get a hot girl. Any advice? How do I get over this blue pill thinking. I've read the sidebar, read at least 30 posts, I just can't change anything. I'm so hurt and fucking pissed off by the break up. I only have a couple friends, and zero women in my life. I feel like a fucking loser now. I started going out more and I'm starting at the gym but it doesn't fill the void.