Dear trp, this is something i can't explain to others and barely to myself but i will try and hope someone can help me.

ive read alot on here for quite some time, i am now 16 years old. I should note that i have add. Altough i am a pretty confident, charismatic and handsome guy i have some massive motivation issues. my grades at school are bad and i skip my muay thai practice, wich i once followed religiously, quite often. the painful thing is that i know there is no excuse for this, its my own fault i don't take advantage of my life, espescially with all the trp knowledge. at home i sometimes lose it and start crying, making me doubt who I am and why I can't kick myself in the ass or something. it has also happened that just when i start to do good at school i get confronted with terrible grades. A side of me always wants to give up and be miserable, but the other side is to powerfull, causing enormous strains of ovberthinking in my mind. can someone give me advice, link a reddit post or something else that can give my winner side the advantage. i'm tired of doing jack shit and not doing my sport and schoolwork, the plus side is that i just got a part time job, wich i am happy with and makes me unable to think to badly about myself. instead of doing homework or something usefull i often start watching yt videos or playing video games, wich is not the core problem since when my mom takes away my stuff i find other ways to distract myself. I am a winner, i know this. I just need a little push from you guys.

excuses for any spelling/grammatical mistakes.