Hi guys,

It's been another breakup for me, I know it's fresh and I should feel shitty but I have a feeling that I might not get back up after this one so I would just love to hear some words from you what to do or what you did in a similar situation.

My situation right now:

- depression and cannot sleep for fuck not matter what I do. I've been using pills but it's not working anymore. Have really bad insomnia and it's making me depressed.

- broke as fuck, literally sometimes I lie to my friends that I don't have time for coffee, in reality, I just don't have money to pay for it. No car, living in my parents' basement.

- I own a business and it's very stressful all the time. It's impossible for me to handle all this shit due to my depression/breakups and other problems in my life.

- I had a really bad breakup 3 years ago and it put me in a really depressed state for a very long time. After that, all relationships failed hard and I was never the one that initiated the ending. I always get attached too soon and I drove women away. I'm really fucked up after a breakup.

- I have a really bad self-image. I've been lifting for 10 years still doesn't help me. Women contact me on their own mainly from the gym but I always drive them away with my neediness. I've done everything possible in the gym. I'm also balding and have a pale light skin which is not a good combination.

- My family is fucked. My mother is cheating on my father and I need to support my father somehow and it's impossible for my current mental state and stress.

- People disrespect me in groups.

- My grandfather just died recently, was really bad for the last couple of months, hard to watch.

- I'm shy, have approach anxiety. I tried cold approach but it was the hardest thing ever for me.

I'm 30 years old.

Where do I even start?

I've been in self-development since when I was 20 years old. I've been working on myself hard all that time, but I'm starting to give up. Any words/wisdom and tips on how to get over this will be appreciated.