Quick Background: Fell in love with a fat chick and got friendzoned and rejected at age of 18. It caused a major trauma for my psychology, This led me to develop a mindset that i was ugly and I was not worthy of being loved, and i should be at peace with it and accept it. This lasted until age of 28, no chasing girls, only got rejected couple of times for putting girls on pedestal and acting like beta. Fucked up i know, kinda wasted my youth. Somehow I was able to change this mindset due to RP, started lifting and started to see my own value. It literally saved my life as i was thinking of ending things. Girls started hitting on me without me hitting on them.

Now: Now 32 year old but i have a major flaw that i cant seem to overcome. Maybe you guys can give me a different angle to look at things. it is generally despised on this sub but my intention is LTR. Spinning plates and all is good but my past trauma prevents me from developing real feelings for any girl. I feel compassion i feel sympathy i feel aroused but not love. when i spend some time with a girl and i enjoy my time, its like you could replace that girl with any girl and i wouldnt care. I cant seem to open my heart and say hey i think i like this girl. Nowadays its so hard to come across decent girls but i seem to push good ones away by my indifference.

Well I am not sure If i could convey my issue properly, But i wanted to give it a shot. Thanks if you care enough to help an anonymous stranger.