Cant get laid because im ugly?

So im ina new school, new city, new country. Never met these people before. So entirely new group. Been tryna ask some girls out but they havent been particularly enthusiastic, though ive been direct with some girls. Its the same shit happening as was back home. I have a black flatmate who managed to slay, we dont have many guys in our class and only one other guy managed to slay a bupolar girl in our class but nobody else.

I think im having trouble with slaying because im ugly. I think my verbal game is good, but i have pretty severe male pattern baldness (losing my hair) and i aint the most stylish guy but i dont dress bad either. I am above 6'0 in height and tower over most guys and girls in my class.

Just today i found out that a girl in my class is going on tinder to find dates. Apparently she found my profile and swiped left (😥) and is going out with some random dude for valentines.

Tinder doesnt work for me either, barely get matches (though u have decent pics) and i can get numbers but all the girls ghost on whatsapp when i ask them out...so i have had no luck there. I think its because of my hair or glasses...

I go to clubs and get shut down by girls. I dunno what to do lol...any advice?

[–]PencesElectrician6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Future_Alpha[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

You seem to be forcing the issue way too much. Your focus in class and at the clubs shouldn't be about girls, it should be about having a good time and doing well in class. When you focus on yourself and not getting laid, it makes you a lot more attractive to girls. Coming across as thirsty or needy is the single easiest way to turn someone off regardless of looks.

Dont wanna sound like im arguing but what do you mean by "forcing the issue"? Hows a man supposed to get laid if he doesnt ask a girl out?

Lift more. If you already are lifting a lot and still not getting results, consider going full bald like The Rock or Bruce Willis.

Yeah i guess ur right abt lifting, had another girl not believe that i had abs (she brought it up not me lol). I only look like i lift if i take my shirt off, otherwise not

[–]PencesElectrician0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Future_Alpha[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

It's all about balance: if they barely know you, and you ask them out, you will come across as really thirsty and turn them off. What I mean by "forcing the issue" is you seem to be a bit too aggressive and trying to get their number/set up dates. When talking to girls, relax, enjoy the conversation, tease them, but don't go into every single interaction with the expectation that you will be asking them out on a date. Take a slow cooker approach, set up plans with groups of people, build social status then when you start building trust/value, then ask them out.

Ah. Thats actually a real clear answer haha. Guess i was doing it wrong and now my chances are done with the girls in my class? How do i know that i started building trust value/its a good time to ask them out?

Although, one thing makes me curious is theres a guy from the term above me that managed to hook up with a girl within 72 hours of meeting and he never came off as thirsty?

Also with tinder, i figured there was no sense in mincing words since we are both in on the app, but i guess im going too fast too?

im in a weird stage right now that no clothes look good, because i am not huge but i am not small either, in between "small" and "medium" clothing size - so nothing fits quite perfect.

[–]PencesElectrician1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I'd look into custom stuff clothes wise if that's the case. Otherwise, try developing a build that fits better on either size. When you find shirts that you look good in, look for clothes of that similar style/build

Classes are always iffy because they are forced to be in that environment with you, so they aren't voluntarily spending time with you. If you are going to ask chicks out in a class, make sure you have built up a good rapport with them before doing so. That could take days, weeks or even months. Go with your gut instinct on that one.

If women are super attracted to you, you can close a lot earlier. If they're only on the fence about you or don't think much of you, you need to build your value. If you are a good dancer, it is easier to slay. If you have noticeable talents, it is also easier for you to slay. All of this depends on where you meet them, how you meet them and how attracted they are to you.

Personally if I were you, I'd start paying attention more to your flatmate. See what he does, see how he operates, and try hanging out with him more. He could be a good role model for you.

I'd have to figure out more about how you operate on Tinder, but keep in mind that a good chunk of chicks on there are just looking for validation and nothing else. It's a total numbers game for you that requires you to be in the top 10% of everything to be consistently successful on it. That, or being significantly more attractive than them.

[–]Future_Alpha[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Never knew custom clothes were a thing. Ill check them out.

Thanks. Wasnt aware it can take that long.

I am trying to hang with hime more. So far it seems like he has a very bold approach. He says directly to girls that hed like to see them naked or wants to sleep with them, etc. But i will continue observing. Maybe he can get away with it because hes black (its expected for a black guy to be aggressive), or because hes good looking?

chunk of chicks on there are just looking for validation and nothing else

Thats sucks. If i cant get girls from class and i need to be top 10% for tinder and clubs are a shit fest, where am i supposed to go to get girls? I dont have time for cold approach, all i do is home, class, study, grocery store (and gym if i have time).

[–]PencesElectrician1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I would take certain things he does that you think you can naturally apply to your life without seeming awkward.

From my experience, the best way to meet girls is through friends of mutual friends. That way, you have social proof, you have built trust with them right off the bat and since you don't know them particularly well it makes it easier for you. Dating apps are okay too so long as you have good pictures and can handle rejection well.

Surround yourself with good people, focus on being the best version of yourself and eventually women will come around. Also, acknowledge the fact that the dating world goes in cycles. What I mean by that is you will have times (could be weeks or months) that there will not be any pussy within a 40 mile radius, and times where you have a huge abundance. Accepting that reality is crucial to success.

[–]Future_Alpha[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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Title	Cant get laid because im ugly?
Author	Future_Alpha
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	February 6, 2019 8:55 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/anvelf/cant_get_laid_because_im_ugly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/cant-get-laid-because-im-ugly.217537 https://theredarchive.com/post/217537

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