24 year old here. About 3 weeks ago I ended my long distance relationship of 1 year, I know it’s not that long but shit still got me fucked up. We got to see each other on weekends, sometimes 2 weeks apart. Beautiful woman, same age as me, she was easily a 8 or 9, sex was amazing.

Fast forward into our relationship, we have sex and she freezes like wtf, I ask her what’s up and she goes to the bathroom and hear her crying. At that time I just comforted her, it happened a few times after that and I lost my desire for sex. It bothers me so much on a daily basis and I begin to talk to her about it, I suspected she had been sexually assaulted some time in her life so I ask her and she confirms it but doesn’t want to talk about it. I just leave at that and feel sorry for her. It keeps happening, she freezes and starts crying and dick goes numb instantly almost every time we attempt to have sex. There were other things bothering me like she couldn’t listen to Chris brown cause her ex loved him, she was going to a party once but canceled, later on she heard from her friends her ex was there and she then told me “ugh lucky I didn’t go there”. She still had drawings of him and her at her place, she became obsessed with the thought of me not being over my ex cause I lied about when we broke up and she somewhat found out and we had many fights about it.

The distance became a problem, thing is she wasn’t allowed to be dating in her culture and had to hide it from her family so we didn’t have time to even get feelings for each other’s other than be missing each other. We talked about it and decided to meet up and talk about our relationship.

So we meet up and I have no emotions left but at the same time I really missed her and still cared for her. She tries to kiss me and give it a chance again but all these red flags I mentioned made me lose interest in even trying to make this work. I drive her to the train station and she asks me “are you sure I shouldn’t spend the night at your place” I tell her no and she leaves.

We kind of did it on both terms but in the end I had to make the choice of breaking up with her. I still miss her, I know I will until I build myself up again. I’m hitting the gym, spending times with some friends even smashed 2 girls already but I need to focus to be comfortable being alone.

I’m new here so I just wanted to tell my story, I’ve been watching Stephiscold on YouTube that’s how I found this subreddit. I have a lot to learn and I’m more than happy to have your thoughts on this relationship.