Hi guys, first of all sry for my english, im not a native speaker. I'm M22yo, been reading TRP for a few years which helped me a lot. I've never had a gf because of my childhood, insecurities.. as many of us here. My father died 2 years ago because of an alcohol, I have a very bad relationship with mother because she's an alcoholic too. I think she's destroyed father with her cheating, manipulating and lies. At least I've got a small business from father and nice grandparents.. Anyway, thanks to TRP, buddhism and psychedelics I've overcame some of my fears and ego. I've started to live in a more positive way, finally had some "woman friends" , tried a move now and then.. A month ago a fucked a girl I know for a 6 months. She was my "friend", I've liked her more and more, felt some kind of connection which I've been looking for and havent felt with other girls I talked to/fucked.. Now she's my LTR. I've wanted her, I'm happy with her but I can't trust her, I can't get rid of a feeling she fucks other guys because she's got a lot of male friends (very social), she's a party girl (do coke sometimes) and quite alternative. In other words, not trustworth for a LTR. I told her openly I'd like to be only with her, she told me the same. I see she's into me in a RL(wants to hold my hand, kisses me, fucks me) but still I can't believe her. I dont want plates and fuck several girls in one time, I just want a loyal and trustworth partner, otherwise be alone. I think I could have had better. I'm pretty muscular, not ugly and not stupid. I'd rate her as 6-7. This situation fucks me up and I want to quit this (girl), but I dont know its because of a reason or because of my childhood and ego. I'm pissed of myself- I'm being attracted to this kind of girls And then regret.. but I tell myself these are useful experiences and I can't be in "my shell" all the time.. If you guys could give me an advice, you would be very nice. Thank you