Confidence on the Spot

xidub · 2018-05-16T22:04:46+00:00

Do you believe you are interesting? Then why shouldn't you be able to talk to another interesting person?

Think deeply about those two questions and you will have your answer.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-05-17T01:26:49+00:00

how does one summon the courage to do so?

One IS the courage.

Srsly, why are you so worried about what some half nekkid 115lb primate thinks of you? What's the worst thing she can do? Shriek "OMGEEEEE! STOP EYE-RAPING ME, YOU MISOGYNIST!!! I'M NOT JUST A PIECE OF MEAT!!!"? That's not going to happen, and if it does, look at her like she just ripped a fart in church and move on.

“Just doing it” does not seem like a great idea

Except it is.

"Just do it" wins the prize; "But...the Moment Wasn't Right" rides the bus home and jacks off.

because approaching from a position of weakness rather than confidence and self-possessedness seems futile.

Translation: "Excuse Number 426 for Why I Don't Get Laid."

How can one get the courage to approach, even when their forebrain is screaming at them not to?

Stop being a faggot. Read these:

Approach Axiety: Faint Heart Never Fucked Fair Lady

Abundance Mentality: Why It's Good For You

curtainrodman · 2018-05-17T01:26:06+00:00

There is something that's called the "3 second rule". This is something that's been talked a lot around here a while ago, and I hae

ELI5: Once your dick sends it's signal to your brain that "this girl is hot, you should approach", you have 3 seconds to make a decisions without any emotional response. This decision is completely primal, per se. Hot girl? Dick must go inside.

After 3 seconds, your emotional thinking starts kicking in. "Oh she's hot. Maybe I should buy her a drink, but I still have mine..." and so on. Then you start getting nervous, and sweaty. And then you're too scared to approach, and even if you do, she can smell the wreaking nervousness from the sound of your trembling voice.

Wrath_of_Trump · 2018-05-17T01:33:48+00:00

You can't summon courage. You can "fake it til you make it" where you just approach, but if you're not feeling confident already, it's not going to do much to help your interaction. You have to actually believe you're an interesting person worth talking to, and if you don't live in such a way that you're convinced this is true 24/7, then you need to spend time being interesting on your own. It also helps if you stand up straight and smile when you talk to people instead of having the expression of a burnt-out loser like 90% of the public.

[deleted] · 2018-05-17T12:45:22+00:00

I usually get some liquid courage. Idk if that helps.

SeductionSnake · 2018-05-17T00:37:20+00:00

You could study body language and facial expressions as well as approaches so you can fake it in the beginning until you get comfortable enough with the conversation to portray “real” confidence

reallifemarlboroman · 2018-05-17T04:07:15+00:00

You have to WANT to do it, like a quarterback WANTS to go in and get the opportunity to win the game.

You live for the chance to get the opportunity to meet that hot girl and make your impression on her.

Thethrowawayoption · 2018-05-17T20:23:39+00:00

How can one get the courage to approach, even when their forebrain is screaming at them not to?

"Just doing it" is right. It isn't the long term answer, but it's a necessary step to arriving at the right place. No beta blue pill just one day "decides to be a red pill" and instantly goes from having no game to being the flawless RP man. When your current situation is that there is fear and uncertainty at the idea of approaching, you have to do something to unlearn that. The only way to get the experience you need, is to "just go do it" all the time. Do it so much and so often that you don't have the same reaction anymore.

Only after you've rid yourself of the psychological lies causing fear and uncertainty via this experience can you move on to the next step and begin to approach with real confidence and self-possession. Skipping steps is like trying to learn algebra before you know how to add. You need to be building a solid foundation now so that you can construct a good structure on top later.

“Just doing it” does not seem like a great idea, because approaching from a position of weakness rather than confidence and self-possessedness seems futile.

You forgot to ask The Economist's Question: "compared to what?". Approaching with confidence isn't an option yet, so if that's what you're comparing to a seemingly futile low confidence approach, then your comparison is invalid. Your only available options right now are to approach with low confidence as best you can or to not approach at all. So if you compare the options that are actually available, only one of them will let you unlearn fear and improve. Are you going to bomb a lot? Yes, of course. But so what? You're learning. Mistakes are allowed. Quitting is not.

omega_dawg93 · 2018-05-17T08:33:37+00:00

mofos will sign up for dangerous jobs, enlist in the military, do street drugs, drive while drunk, start fights, go bungee jumping...

but are STILL afraid to walk up to a girl!!!

smmfh.

and you wonder why Chad is tired of fucking her... and why she's also banging jamal.

she's tired of waiting for you to grow some nuts.

if you're afraid, go play your video games and stay frustrated. guys with balls will approach her.

IRideParkCity · 2018-05-17T02:04:15+00:00

Lol @ "interesting girl"

Title	Confidence on the Spot
Author	curtainrodman
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	May 16, 2018 9:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8jypfr/confidence_on_the_spot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/confidence-on-the-spot.97407 https://theredarchive.com/post/97407

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