Hello, TRP. I have read a lot of The Red Pill theory, I have also read a lot of experiences that many people have had with it and I have hanged out with a lot of people who are advanced and experienced at game and I have learned a lot from them. I have been aware of TRP for about year.

I think the Red pill perspective really is the one which comes closest to defining reality as it is, altough i still have trouble wrapping my mind around some of the red pill concepts.

Actually I think I have consumed too much info, and as a result of that now I have many contradicting views upon gender, social and sexual dynamics causing analysis paralysis and cognitive dissonance to an extent, where i do not see myself as a player of this game but more as a spectator and someone who sees trough the facades that people put on (it might be just my imagination tho).

PROBLEM I am putting myself in social situations to accumulate reference experiences, but i often feel as if i am from another planet, because i always think about some weird shit that is related to TRP when socialising, this kind of thinking is useful when applied in university for academic purposes, but it is shit when it comes to getting laid or atleast feeling like a human being. I cant take action because I am full of doubts.

The problem is that altough i am able to function socially I miss the days, when my mind was not hindered by all this knowledge and the contradictions i have seen. (altough there are times when i get in flow state and just don't give a fuck). A lot of these problems where triggered after i read Mark Mansons models and started applying the principle of being vulnerable and honest.

PROBLEM Motherfucker how can i be honest and vulnerable with girls if because of trp and some experiences i see them as selfish , hypergamous , manipulative creatures that only care about you if you got looks, money, status? To be honest i am scared of them and i do not trust them because i have seen the things they do to manipulate. In spite of that i still like to be with them, they are nice to look at, some are even fun to talk with and all the sexual shit just blows my mind, but still i am intimidated by them and a bit buthurt.

PROBLEM My self esteem and beliefs change too often. One day i think i look good enough to get atleast an average girl( it is good enough for me, and my past shows i can actually do that), but then it all changes to a point when i start to think that i have to be taller more muscular and that my limited successes happened just because of good luck. I do not want to depend on luck.

PROBLEM I have problems taking action because i see every little thing that could go wrong and i believe in a lot of stuff that works against me.

PROBLEM I cant hold my frame when i see that i am getting receptive responses, because i get exited and outcome dependent.

Question 1. How can i stop analysing everything and not make potentially false assumptions about others in social situations?Well ok this is getting too long, I can not possibly list all my problems because my frame and mindset is super fucked up and my head is full of shit.

Question 2. How can i be myself with girls if i know that my weaknesses will be used against me to manipulate me afterwards?

Question. 3 How can i gain stable self-esteem and stop having doubts about everything?

Question 4 How do i stop thinking that i am some kind of freak?

Question 5 How do i stop obsessing over my looks? I have almost maximized my looks, so it does not serve me any purpose to be obsessed about something I can not change. (I have a bit of acne that i can not cure and i am already working on not being skinny.)

Question 6. Should i give up and leave these questions unanswered ?

TL:DR Self conscious 19 year old AFC Consumed too much TRP and now has too much questions , finds contradicting himself constantly and having millions of theories about how things are and a lot of self doubt.

PS. I know this is a very very long post with a lot of rambling in it, but if anyone could give me a little more clarity that would be dope as f**k.