Controlling emotions and thought processes

feminazis_stalk_me · 2015-08-20T07:33:42+00:00

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result than the one you keep getting.

Thinking about her and why things went to shit and who she's fucking now is NOT GOING TO DO YOU ANY FAVORS. So stop that shit. You need to occupy yourself with something, throw yourself into something - be passionate about something so that your mind doesn't take you to those dark places.

Get a hobby, go hiking, host poker nights, build scale models - whatever. You're dwelling on the past because there isn't enough on your plate to occupy you at present.

PemBayliss · 2015-08-19T20:37:29+00:00

Feel the emotions, let them come in, and let them go on out.

PemBayliss · 2015-08-19T21:08:02+00:00

I found what I wanted to tell you.

What you're doing is feeling the same things over and over again, repeatedly. Like playing the same video in your head over and over again. You go back over memories and scenarios, thinking "how could I have done this differently" and "what if I'd said this instead of that, what would have happened" and "if x then y; but I did X then z, and a=b but not if c or d" and so on.

Emotions will pass on through if you feel them and you let them come on in and go on out. But they'll take up residence if you let them -- if you get the same ones out and feel them again and again and again. If you let them live there, they just stay, and you feel them over and over again without letting them go on out.

So what you do is you take your emotions, and you feel them. Give them space to feel for a certain amount of time. Let them come in, you feel them. Then let them go on out.

And don't let them in again. "No, that's done. that's over. I felt it, it was there, now it's done and over with."

If you cannot do that, then you take the thing that causes the feeling, and you mentally "put it on a shelf". You leave it there, until you feel it again, in which case you take it off the shelf, you look at it and then you PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF and LEAVE IT THERE.

The problem happens when you keep taking it off the shelf. PUT IT BACK on the shelf and LEAVE IT THERE.

It's a discipline. You have to CHOOSE to LEAVE IT. You have to busy yourself with other things that require your attention.

CHOOSE to LEAVE IT.

Title	Controlling emotions and thought processes
Author	RememberingAlpha
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	August 19, 2015 7:53 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3hmjyc/controlling_emotions_and_thought_processes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/controlling-emotions-and-thought-processes.152666 https://theredarchive.com/post/152666

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