Gents, I'm a recovering serial monogamist and am looking for some direction to tighten up my dating game.

I've read the primer, a lot of the sidebar and and likely am still in the process of swallowing the red pill. Also, I've been making my way through the best of The Rational Male, whose work I seem to identify most with. BlackDragon has some interesting stuff as well, as does Roissy.

Here's a bit about me:

  • Type A, mid 30s, financially stable, somewhere between a 65-70 on the 100 point scale (vs. the 10) and in good shape (5'11, 165lbs, crossfit 3x/week + other activities)

  • Dominant in my professional life

  • Naturally intense and polarizing personality

  • Usually the one who organizes social events with the guys (many of my friends are blue pill, married with kids) - either nights out to the bar, trips or hosting dinner

  • My interests and hobbies vary from cooking, baking, gardening to backpacking, boxing/mma, archery, carpentry (i.e. they run the gamut from traditionally feminine to traditionally masculine)

  • Slowly killing the people pleaser in me (that fucker is almost dead)

  • I prefer to spend a lot of time by myself

  • By default, I speak quickly and have to consciously make an effort to lean back and slow things down

  • I enjoy dating - people and their respective stories fascinate me. I'm genuinely interested in getting to know the women I date and need a mental attraction for sex to be exceptional

Goals:

  • Consistent hook-ups and dating

  • MLTRs,

My main source of dating is Tinder, which is going fine but not meeting all of my needs/expectations. My first month on the app was weak although I happened to have a couple of women fall into my lap (which has been a recurring theme between relationships, all my life) and built on that "success". Right now, I'm getting lots of matches, a steady stream of dates (ranging from 60-85 on the 100 point scale). My approach tends to be more direct - i.e. Let's grab a drink this week, what's your schedule look like - although I'm naturally inclined to follow Gatbsy's "be immature and tease her" approach, mostly in person, rather than on tinder (What, am I clown here to amuse you?). I prescreen heavily for second dates, keeping my dating goals and the type of women I want in my life in mind.

Here's what a first date looks like:

  • Something active, light and a little competitive like mini-putt or pool (I end the date here if I'm not into the woman or if she doesn't set off my radar)
  • Drinks at one of my favourite places with food, if I'm hungry
  • My place for tea/coffee/night cap

I've tried brunch, coffee, board game cafes, or just drinks and have found my results are not nearly as good. When I'm with a more mundane woman, it can be fucking excruciating.

For the women I'm interested in, I'm falling short on having sex on the first date and not getting as many second dates as I would like - with a handful of exceptions. The responses I'm getting vary, with only a single LJBF. They typically center around compatibility and not wanting the same life goals. I (stupidly?) answer directly when asked about marriage and kids. So far, my dates are between the ages of 27-38. Regarding sex, I can and have consistently overcome LMR, but prefer not to.

I feel like I may be falling into Beta Bucks territory or coming off as over eager. Not sure how to pinpoint the issue(s) and would appreciate some direction.

Also, for the guys with tight schedules, how has Black Dragon's first date rule (i.e. build tension and escalate, but don't try to kiss or take her home until the second date) worked for you?

I'm most interested in hearing advice/direction from guys in and around my own age and with similar goals and who have successfully integrated the red pill into their lives.

Thanks.