Did I soft next correctly?

thinksammich_ · 2017-10-16T03:31:42+00:00

Her guilt is overwhelming her and justifyably so. I doubt the party was cancelled, either she backed out because she got wind you were not willing to put up with that shit, or she's telling you lies.

specialCupcake · 2017-10-19T20:28:00+00:00

I saw your last post, I know the situation and this is what I think about it:

What you shouldn't do: Don't act hurt, don't show that you care!

Her mindset about you: She think she's got you pegged as an unknowing beta provider.

The situation in your relationship: For some reason she is getting bored and wants to be boned really hard by some other guy, it's so bad that even her friends know about it and offer excuses for her to cuck you(inviting your girlfriend to a rugby party while good ol' cuckie will wat at home).

What is happening right now: She noticed that something's off and right now she is acting oblivious to it(I'm sure as hell that she knows, just reverse the genders and imagine that your friends invited you to a cheerleader party...), she's testing the waters doing damage controll. She told you that it got cancelled or whatever because she doesen't want to confess to her wrongdoing thus keeping all her power in the relationship, she just doesen't want any consequences.

What I would do if I were you:

I would read this article from the best blog I've ever read:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2017/10/04/how-to-handle-a-disrespectful-girlfriend/

"What you should do is call her out when she disrespects you, but without airing demands for more “respect” that you feel you “aren’t getting”, which will almost always sound like the butthurt pleas of a lower value man. Just tell her to cut the bullshit, and if she keeps it up, kick her out (or kick yourself out).

If she’s disrespecting you as a shit test of your character because you’ve acted too beta of late for her taste, then slapping her with the verbal pimp hand and walking out if she doesn’t comply will encourage her to reassess your alpha cred, and she’ll likely come back to you full of apology and begging for a reconciliation bang."

Also read this:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/signs-that-a-woman-is-cheating-in-her-heart/

If you don't know how to act, this is the best way:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/the-next-great-dismissive-alpha-male-line/ https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/being-the-right-kind-of-asshole/

Hope you read it and it helps you, please update us OP.

Pork_Sword3 · 2017-10-16T07:27:46+00:00

I think you’re correctly doing a soft next; don’t initiate any contact for a few days. Then just hit her up with “hey, let’s do [insert something here which will ultimately lead to sex]. If she asks why haven’t you been replying all you say is “I’ve been busy doing [whatever you’ve been doing]

Sounds like it was a massive shit test for you and a disrespectful one at that. She wanted to test your frame by telling you she was suddenly going to some rugby house party and see how you would react. The party could have been a total made up thing by her or a party she was invited to and the outcome of wether she went or not depended on how you handled this shit test. In any case it seems like you passed the shit test and now she’s starting to realise that you won’t put up with this kind of shit. While you’re still soft nexting her I would start considering if this is a relationship you still want to continue when this kind of behaviour is happening. Personally this soft next could very well become a hard next if I were in your shoes but it’s up to you.

There’s a very good indicator in what you’ve said that she knows she’s fucked up. ”Are you mad at me?” She’s playing dumb and she knows she’s messed up. Continue soft nexting until you feel likes it’s an appropriate time to re-initiate contact.

Title	Did I soft next correctly?
Author	rolo699
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	October 15, 2017 11:41 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/76mm7z/did_i_soft_next_correctly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/did-i-soft-next-correctly.116351 https://theredarchive.com/post/116351

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