TL:DR - Can't speak my own language, I get paralyzed in my head. Subconciously affects my confidence in leading conversation, so I don't try, leading to missed opportunities. Advice?

There's a problem that's been bugging me for a good while now...

I am not well-spoken in my own language

Because I grew up watching english cartoons 24/7 & degenerating on the internet, I learned english very well. However, that didn't come without it's downsides.

Half the time I'm thinking in my own language, and the other half in english. The sentence structure just goes haywire and I'm left feeling paralyzed that I can't find the word I'm looking for in my own language, and even if I do find it after translating the english word in my head - the sentence structure becomes all messed up. All in all, an unpleasant experience to be a part of.

The hot built "mysterious" guy card can only take you so far. It works with friend social circles and people you know, but it absolutely sucks being unable to express yourself the way you want to when you need to when you day-game, are in a bigger group setting etc (although that one could be due to having no "interesting" stories to tell (where I went partying, random chitchat about idle things). I have no doubt that those stories will come, but for a while now I've been loving life and having a lot of energy just working out, eating healthy and generally doing productive things. I can still relate and joke about that shit, but I can never lead or tell a story myself.

Currently, my plan is to :

1) Speak in front of the mirror + learn my language's sentence structure.

2) Expand my vocabulary (like learning words just like I would for other languages). Perhaps learn vocabulary by immersing myself in some speaking activity.

3) Read more books in my own language. Just reading more in general.

4) Join my country's Toastmasters group.

Finally, I leave you with two examples of the great Dr. Will Kirby, a very charismatic and well-spoken person.

The context of these clips does not matter. They serve only as an entertaining example as to what I'm striving for speaking wise, both english and my own language) -

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIRsnyKELhc&feature=youtu.be&t=29

  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0orJVOjj04&feature=youtu.be&t=3615

Thank you for reading. I hope we can get a good discussion going.