Do Healthy Relationships Even Exist? Please Help

CalvinRichland · 2018-08-19T23:24:55+00:00

Don't date damaged women.

machimus · 2018-08-20T00:05:21+00:00

AWALT, but not always to the same degree. There are high quality and low quality out there. Don’t judge the population based only on reports from here. Most guys here are damaged and trying to improve.

I was banging a coworker at one point in my life (I know I know) and she had this guy that she let buy her all sorts of gifts, obviously with the intent of some kind of fucked up courtship ritual. I told her it’s creepy and she shouldn’t lead him on like that, but she didn’t understand why you shouldn’t, and why he might snap some day and stab her. He didn’t, but my point is that it’s not your job to be the morality police. If you don’t like her behavior, vote with your feet and next her.

DarkSkinKakarot_ · 2018-08-20T02:01:47+00:00

As a fellow black male I get what your saying.

I’m at the point where I just want to build my career but the void that TRP gives you becomes something you have to deal with.

Until I’m in a position where I’m in my career I have voted to just not look or date. Sure women come along but for now I just enjoy my time.

I’ve almost accepted the fact that once I’m ready for something “real” it will be with some post wall girl and I’ll never end up married.

marone76 · 2018-08-20T01:24:14+00:00

I don't know what you want us to tell you?

"Briffault’s law maintains that “the female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.” Today we would say “relationship” rather than “association.”

You can play their game by their rules or you can choose not to play. At least you discovered the truth early. Only at the end of her wild run will she start looking for the type of relationship you want. She only wants that when it is her last option before cats and wine. She will still try for what she used to but because it doesn't happen as often she'll settle long term and take advantage of other opportunites if and when they come.

They hedge their bets.

healthyteacher4 · 2018-08-20T04:48:01+00:00

I treated women poorly and was treated poorly by them at times. I then started taking a lot of risks, going on adventures... fastforward to me at age 25. I finally got into my first normal relationship that was unlike all the others. A lot of it had to do with me accomplishing all the things I felt I had to get out of the way. Once you are whole, the right relationships (not just with women, but with others) start clicking into place. That might sound kinda mystical, but that's really how it goes and I think a lot of people would agree. So, focus on you. 100%

demalteb · 2018-08-20T07:11:19+00:00

As long as you see relationships as a power struggle, that is precisely what you will get.

Wakawakaheihei · 2018-08-20T11:47:20+00:00

You attract what you're. If you don't know how to filter girls, you end up with a crazy one. If all you know is gaming and sex, but you're attractive and jacked, you'll attract LQ hot girls with nothing but a vagina. If you get smart, jacked, ambitious and have a good mentality - those girls who're the hardest to get (not because of looks, but because they're smart and have value other than pussy), will become easier and those are who you want for the long run.

But don't expect them to be good for you from the get go. You have to change them in a healthy way and un-wire every negative aspect an usual woman has -> which is very hard, because not only she got those values from before, but also she's getting influenced by media and her girlfriends, so she has to know what's bullshit and what's not. The younger she's, the better values she has, the more moldable she's. But you have to know a lot about human psychology, how world works and of course TRP. A woman won't change if she doesn't love you - she has to get hooked.

A good relationship is possible, but it's hard as ever to get and you have to put a lot of work in a person with a lot of chances to fuck it all up in one night.

MattyAnon · 2018-08-20T15:18:51+00:00

please help guys and girls of trp i want to know some actual advice for a good relationship

Your need for a "good relationship" is weakness

furcryingoutloud · 2018-08-20T01:20:57+00:00

Here is a good answer when some woman tries to talk to you about someone she's dating: "What in the fuck did I do or say to make you think I'm you're best friend or something? Much less give a fuck about who you're fucking and why?"

Then walk away. Go home. Just never accept to be their best friend.

Having said that. Healthy relationships? Yeah, I have a couple of those, with some really good male friends of mine. I obviously don't claim they don't exist, but to me they are like god, if he did exist, I'd rather not know about it.

oytrp · 2018-08-20T15:43:36+00:00

Vet your women.

Be as high value as you possibly can be.

Apply reasonable dread.

Ltr1234 · 2018-08-20T17:36:16+00:00

I'm a female and I'd say that girl is crazy for all intents and purposes if you're looking for a healthy relationship. How often does this happen? I can't really give accurate estimates but anecdotally in my group of close girl friends I can see about 2/8 behaving similarly to the girl you described. It's not hard to tell they're quite damaged from past experiences. The thing is though, you're probably more likely to run into my 2 friends than any of the rest of us because they go out more often, are much more active on dating sites, social media, etc. The rest of my friends spend like 80% of our time at home or in class and not very much into socializing lol

Feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt though because I'm 20 and only been in one relationship. I would say think about what you value in a relationship first and then take your time really getting to know a girl before considering a relationship. Be respectful, honest, supportive, and communicate your expectations and boundaries once you have them figured out (may take some time and life experience). Be realistic, not idealistic and not pessimistic - I think moderation is basically important in every aspect of life. I also agree with the other comment about not creating self-fulfilling prophecies for yourself. If my boyfriend acted like a lot of the men here do in being overly cautious and acting like I'm disposable to him I would not be having it. Why would I wanna be with someone who can't trust me and value me as a human being?

Continue to improve yourself and work towards becoming the best version of yourself and make sure your prospective partner has similar goals. I think healthy relationships do exist but they require genuine mutual desire, love, and respect.

Title	Do Healthy Relationships Even Exist? Please Help
Author	Lolilicous
Upvotes	22
Comments	24
Date	August 19, 2018 11:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/98ojpp/do_healthy_relationships_even_exist_please_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/do-healthy-relationships-even-exist-please-help.130727 https://theredarchive.com/post/130727

Comments