I'm not sure if this is the right sub to ask this, but men here often give you answers without the bullshit askmen will.

I'm black, specifically both of my parents are from Africa and I was born here. While i was young my parents painted a picture of me being a good black kid and not a hoodlum/gangster black person. Because of this I mainly stayed away from blacks at school. I ended up hanging with a lot of asians and Hispanics as my social circle. I was watching anime, playing games like league of legends, switched to playing tennis from basketball, learning Hispanic dance and Spanish as a result of this.

Recently I got into hip hop with artists such as Childish Gambino, Kendrick Lamar, Eminem and Lil Wayne and started being influenced by it.

One day in class (an IB class) I was wearing shorts under my jeans and it was getting tight so I decided to let my jeans sag. This asian girl, let's call her Julie, turns and says "Look at Chinny4daWinny trying to be black. Pull your pants up". I pay her no attention then go back to my seat. There I sat about her saying I was "trying to act black". I was confused. Was I supposed to act asian out white?

A few days later I'm reading this poem at a Latin American gathering for school. When I looked around at the people at the event I was the only black person there. Everybody was nice to me and everything, but I wasn't Hispanic. They were all telling each other jokes, laughing, most of the performances that night were in Spanish and at the end everybody (but me) sung this song in Spanish. I enjoyed seeing everybody come together and stuff, but I felt like it wasn't for me as I wasn't one of them.

When I asked my close friends why they hang with me they say I'm cool and we have similar interests and I'm not like other black people. I asked what other guys they consider good black people and they're all guys who are beta as fuck. The guys that play games all day and when they're with girls orbit them.

When I went to my friend's house for the first time I heard his mom telling him to make sure I don't steal anything. Lol. I was on the computer playing league. Doesn't matter that I greeted get in Vietnamese, I was still black.

I hung around one of the guys I played ball with for a while and he was the type of black person you would think of when you think of an average black person. His pants sagged, he spoke a lot of slang, had lots of girls hanging with him, had the idgaf attitude and even had a special handshake for his other black friends. Sure me and him were friends, but there was a deeper level of camaraderie with him and the other fellow. Honestly, I felt jealous.

This made me think about what Julie said about me trying to act black and how Gambino always talks about his friends saying he's like a white black guy, but still considered to be the same as every other black person when viewed by somebody else. He was white enough to be friends with them, but not white enough to use their pool or date their sisters, etc.

That's how I feel now. I'm asian enough to hang and play with them, but when it comes to going to their houses, I get "I don't think you should come over" or their parents watch my every move.

I can speak Spanish and play soccer with my Amigos, but when it comes to Spanish festivals (like a quinceanera) , learning traditional dances, wanting in on their traditions doing, it becomes "A Mexican thing" and I can't participate.

With the black people (not African) I don't have many to hang with in the IB program. The only blacks there are the Africans (which are 2 girls and 1 guy) and the other black girls are blah. A majority of the blacks that share my interests are in regular classes and not IB/AP.

I'm rank 5 in my class and the only African American in the top 30 people at my school. I just feel lost and don't know who to associate with.