Doubts about relationship, worth staying?

BlackMisc · 2018-03-10T13:50:57+00:00

the best relationships are when you "like" a girl and she is madly in love. you basically cant hold frame atm.

get out

MattyAnon · 2018-03-10T14:01:39+00:00

(she was in love with her ex and he cheated on her, gave her trust issues basically

DO NOT FALL FOR THE BETA BAIT. "My ex was sexy... err I mean abusive..... now I use this to justify treating my next bf.... who offers commitment... ie you.... badly".

are making her worry about our relationship. I

good. she should be worried. every. single. day. Women don't dump men they are worried about losing, they dump men who try and stay.

Now I know she's at least attracted to me, but I think I'm actually in love and it feels like im somewhere stuck between being a friend and wants to fuck and somebody she loves (which i don't think she does tbh).

you are so plugged in. read the sidebar here and main trp sight.

She talked to her best friend about doubts and she doesn't know if she can't open because of past issues and also she feels like she doesn't want me around all the time

is she attracted? is the sex willing and enthusiastic and frequent?

I talked to her about it,

fuck that shit. talking to women achieves nothing for you, only for her. you are giving her information, but she won't act on it in your favour. she is giving you information, and she expects this to be remembered and acted upon and used to her benefit in future. it's lose lose for you

try to figure it out,

there is nothing to figure out. The relationship is as it is, and talking won't change anything. She doesn't have trust issues, she has motivation issues. Don't let "I've been hurt before" justify her emotional distance. EVERYONE has been hurt before.

worth saving?

What's best for you? Is the relationship awesome FOR YOU, or can you get better?

RandyBumgardner85 · 2018-03-10T14:59:17+00:00

The only situation in which it is sustainable to continue in an LTR with a girl who is "unsure" about the relationship is if she is vocalising worry about a lack of commitment from you. If this is the case, good! You have her where you want her. You simply tell her that you are as committed as you are willing to be at this time and she can either take it or leave it. You must be rock solid on this and willing to let her walk. You can hint at the prospect of further commitment in the future but never explicitly offer it.

If she is unsure about her own level of investment then she has settled for you and it is all downhill from here. This is usually the sign of an Alpha Widow and she will always expect more from you than she gives in return and will almost certainly branch swing at the first opportunity.

You HAVE to walk away.

If you do not hold the upper hand in a relationship in terms of investment then you should not be in that relationship. A woman needs to feel a man is too good for her in order to be attracted to him and to bring out her best qualities. If a man feels his woman is too good for him he will gradually become more and more beta and will either lose her or be her slave for life.

warwolverinewarrior · 2018-03-10T15:25:39+00:00

Is this where emotional tampons come to dry? Re-read what you wrote as if someone else wrote it. Too much emotional garbage. Don't rationalize emotion or words, rationalize action. She's talking about her ex. Meaning she's still into him and she's disrespecting you by pretty much telling you that her ex is her highest benchmark. Treat women for your benefit. They are your support system. If they do not support you, find someone who will. You have to do you. Downgrade the chick to fwb. Find other girls to game. Always be playing.

Edit: Since you are traveling with her implement dread and try to be more stoic. When meeting a chick, you should take them on an emotional Rollercoaster ride. Now since you are in LTR, she already has an idea of you that's very hard to change for the better. You want to show her that dick drives this car, not pussy(aka that she's along for the ride and her emotions or actions will not phase you unless she crosses the line. That's when you drop her off.)

chasebandz01 · 2018-03-10T23:10:05+00:00

you gotta get out. you're setting yourself up to be cucked. you should never be in a position where you have to fight or negotiate for the level of affection you truly want in a relationship. furthermore, in the future, always be vague, aloof, and playful about "issues" and emotional bullshit. women aren't logical and will often say one thing and do/think another. its very frustrating but you have to train yourself to refrain from putting yourself deeper into their frame

Title	Doubts about relationship, worth staying?
Author	tardboy_tales
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	March 10, 2018 1:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/83f657/doubts_about_relationship_worth_staying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/doubts-about-relationship-worth-staying.125456 https://theredarchive.com/post/125456

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