Drawing the line between not caring vs being a pushover?

lietruth · 2019-12-21T18:05:56+00:00

Be unphased.

You’re an oak tree and no wind can blow you over. You’re used to failure. “No worries” is the correct response. Don’t fall into her frame.

The caring vs. pushover is just thoughts blowing about in your mind. No such thing is actually happening in reality. These are just things your thinking about. Your frame can be anything... so it’s not caring or pushover. Now it’s unphased.

SirKolbath · 2019-12-21T18:11:13+00:00

You are on the right track, but coming from the wrong angle.

Once a girl has rejected you, nothing else matters about that particular girl.

Not her opinion. Not her feelings. Not your feelings about her. She is dead and gone.

Thus, no reply is actually the only correct response. Anything else is thinking too much about her.

I used to give girls a chance. Legitimate things happen. If we have a date scheduled and she cancels because her mom was in a car accident, hey, that sucks. "Hope she gets better soon and we'll reschedule."

Now, I take a totally different tack. I am the prize. You bet your ass that if her mom was in a car accident fifteen minutes before she was supposed to meet Chris Hemsworth or Channing Tatum, she'd send a text to her mom saying "hope ur OK" and head out the damn door. Now if a woman cancels on me or otherwise rejects me, that's it. Moving on. It's like Thanos just snapped her out of my universe. She doesn't get the respect of a reply because she hasn't earned one.

There are 3.66 billion women in the world. There is no reason to waste your time or energy worrying about the opinion of just one of them.

319Skew · 2019-12-21T19:04:28+00:00

Stop asking.

"I'm going to X. You should come."

Shoot this to a few plates. If you have shit going for you then you will have three scenarios.

You can change venue and flake on all the ones that you don't care.
You can (if you have game) have fun with all of them and have them compete with each other.
Have them all flake on you in which case work on your SMV and game but also enjoy stress free and fun solo time.

Edit : Notice that in each scenario. They are invited to hang out with me. If they decline then it's a loss for them. If you have social media and aren't butthurt, you can even use this for free PR and dread. Especially if you vanish afterwards off the radar for a week or two.

FinancialThanks1 · 2019-12-21T18:06:53+00:00

What’s the alternative to being a push over? Fighting for the date?

When you get rejected just accept it and move on

legend503 · 2019-12-21T18:32:56+00:00

Short answer. Stoicism and assertiveness.

I have not mastered either so I can't give you details. Only the first step

thrwy75479 · 2019-12-21T18:53:04+00:00

It's different in person, where you can go 2 steps forward, 1 step back when escalating.

However, if she doesn't even want to meet you, what're you going to do via text to convince her otherwise?

Write love sonnets? Present logical arguments in an essay? Beg? Try to be funny with jokes? Demonstrate value by listing your monetary assets?

Scores_Man_Mund · 2019-12-21T21:07:42+00:00

"Your loss" is my go-to. Works best in person, while walking away. Just say it casually, like it's an afterthought, and it'll help maintain your frame for the next approach

Title	Drawing the line between not caring vs being a pushover?
Author	fitness4393
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	December 21, 2019 6:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/edt29k/drawing_the_line_between_not_caring_vs_being_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/drawing-the-line-between-not-caring-vs-being-a.302491 https://theredarchive.com/post/302491

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