eHarmony

_penseroso_ · 2015-02-05T15:55:40+00:00

I don't know where the commenters above find the time to meet women without going online. I get that it's better to do things in person, but I don't have the time to troll bars hitting on girls. I have a fulltime job, a house and a full life.

E-harmony is a good site, but I like Match better, because E-harmony controls the experience too hard. You only get a few matches a day on e-harmony, whereas Match you can search and go crazy. Both have the benefit of having serious girls (you get a lot less flaking on the paid sites because the girls there are really looking for someone.)

Gimprome · 2015-02-05T11:46:02+00:00

Don't ever pay money for a dating service.

karmasutur3 · 2015-02-07T18:56:32+00:00

Ok boys, sit down and shut up. Daddy's here to give a real answer.

So, it's a online dating site, how is it any different than Tinder, PoF, or Match.com?

It's got a steep pay wall, that's what. (I'll get back to the importance of this in a minute). You can get discounts, but it's about fifty bucks for a one month plan. It's got a bunch of matching software, other sites have that too, blah blah blah who knows if anything it does is going to work / not work. That's beside the point. The question then becomes, what do dating sites give to women, and what do they give to men?

What dating apps/sites give primarily to women is validation / attention. Like has been discussed ad nauseam on TRP, women do use Tinder/PoF etc to get laid, but you're gonna need to have your full game on i.e. be in the top 20-10% of attractive men, and have text / profile game to make it work. Sex for any attractive woman, however, is a secondary function of these apps for the most part in practice. Mostly, however ,they want to get the feeling that guys want them, to meet those validation issues. Mostly.

eHarmony is the same, with a small difference. The paywall means that the chick has to go a little farther for just validation. That doesn't mean she won't, but what it means is that it's going to bring a few types of women out of the woodwork on eHarmony than exist on Tinder / etc etc.

Post-wall chicks looking for the bucks. The paywall lets them hamster that more successful men should use the site, they might buy into the hype that they will get matched well, etc. In other words, after she's ridden the carousel, starting to be less attractive, and it's time to find a LTR/Marriage, she might buy in and make a profile.
Ugly girls/ Fat girls. Those willing to put up with a paywall on the female side can hamster that 'it's not me, I'm attractive, I just need a legit dating site'. Nuff said.
Girls with larger than average validation issues. Paywall? FUCK THAT GIMME MAH VALIDATION@!!! (See also: crazy women).
More traditional / less slutty / less social women. These girls, for whatever reason (religion, social anxiety disorders, somewhat more chaste) may be attractive enough, but the site allows them to put themself out there, whereas otherwise they couldn't. A midwestern girl in certain strong christian settings / towns will get socially shunned by churchgoing family and friends for acting the slut, but signing up for a 'serious' dating site is more manageable socially. Don't get me wrong brothers, remember your fucking AWALT, but having said that, there are a few more 'salvageable' chicks around here just due to the paywall.

ALSO, one more important thing: Eharmony doesn't let you browse people (or it didn't use to at least). IT matches you, you choose if you wanna go through miles of horseshit to eventually talk to the other person. It takes some effort, it's not like 'boom, match'. This makes the validation even harder to get at for a chick, and also, weeds out the girls less likely to 'buy into' the idea of the whole site, which is essentially, find an LTR.

Now, whether that's legit or not is up for debate. Maybe eharmony just waits a while so they can suck more money out of you, or maybe they do actually try and match you up with people that might work.

In summation, if you are looking to just go for casual sex/ gaming / spinning plates, eHarmony is probably way more bullshit than it's worth, depending on your perspective.

This is because you're either gonna be sifting through a bunch of post-wall shit, or you're gonna be going dark triad on girls who are either nuts or looking for an LTR. Doesn't sound like much fun. Better sites and real world places are available.

But, TRP is a tool. You use it how you want. After many years of endless conquests and plates, I set sites on a family, cause that's what I fucking wanted, and no bullshit, I met my wife on eharmony. (HAH!)

Yeah, i'm married, and i'm full blown redpill, but I'm not one of those divorced blue pill converts. I didn't find what everyone refers to as TRP after I was married either - I'm one of the old guard.

So, if you're a red pill like me, who takes the toolset and aims for LTR/Family, it's a viable tool to put in the box for trolling for a girl. If you're spinning, I'd pass and try Tinder, or something else.

1NV0K3R · 2015-02-05T16:00:15+00:00

Was expecting long post, got four words, had a fantastic chuckle.

All online dating is shit.

PolishDistiller · 2015-02-05T14:06:03+00:00

Go up to women during the day time. Its free.

StarDestinyGuy · 2015-02-05T18:51:32+00:00

Don't pay money for an online dating service.

If you want flings and fuck buddies, use Tinder.

If you want a LTR, use Plenty of Fish.

EDIT: I removed OK Cupid from the LTR sentence because I don't know anything about it, I was just making an assumption. I've actually used POF however.

Red_truthiness · 2015-02-05T19:49:41+00:00

shit

tombreck2 · 2015-02-05T15:37:22+00:00

Online dating is all shit because there is no rejection and so it doesn't make you stronger. If you get 'rejected' online it's just words and you don't learn anything from it

lobotomy- · 2015-02-05T15:38:37+00:00

I think TRP is in behaviour, and online/text based gaming doesn't show any 'behaviour'. Only 10% of communication are the words, and TRP is for a big part in the other 90%. So keep the texting/online dating/.. to a minimum.

StevenBassic · 2015-02-05T17:15:30+00:00

Tinder.

e21eee · 2015-02-05T18:29:43+00:00

Only if you're 40+

Title	eHarmony
Author	Aphoc
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	February 5, 2015 8:56 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2uusxb/eharmony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/eharmony.192154 https://theredarchive.com/post/192154

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