In my early 20s I had a strong sense of identity. Fueled by young angst, I felt like I could change anything. If something was less efficient at my job, I felt like it could be better. If a girl I was seeing was bitching because I wanted to hang out with friends over her, see ya. If I wanted to paint a fucking triptych, I had the fuel and inspiration to do.

To gloss over the history between then and now, I delt with a lot of depression, failed relationships, financial stress, depersonalization, dissociative disorders, and other turmoils that knocked the chip off my shoulder.

These days, in my early 30s, I've recovered a lot. TRP shed light on all my past failures, especially with women. I use to bitch to my dad about hardships, and he would always give me the "pull yourself up by your boot straps" speech, along with "thats life."

I use to hate it, but now I understand there's power in that. Being a man means owning your shit, and there is no easy outside fix.

So to my question: how have you guys developed that inner drive? That selfishness needed to do what you want, make changes, and being able to answer "how do I feel about that?" I think this essential for any red pill transition, whether it's called passion, selfishness, or will power.

TL:DR- I'm trying to become the best version of myself, yet a series of turmoils has left me passive, and content with just getting by. How can I break through this mental barrier?