Hello all. I would like to discuss some thoughts about emotional connection in LTR.

Let me introduce myself first. I'm in the mid-30s. At some point of my journey I realized what life per se have no meaning. Everybody die one day, consciousness will disappear and achievements voided. I think there are only two things what matters in a long run - own wellbeing and own gene spread. Everything else could be considered only as an instrument to get happiness and have an successful offspring.

I also think what family is the best environment to rise children and to be happy at the same time. I value LTRs with emotional engagement, it's something to be chased. From other side I understand what LTR could come and go, LTRs are fragile, toxic relationship must be ended. Nevertheless high quality LTR and children is the only mission I could imagine for myself now.

Here emotional investment conflict (ambivalence) comes out. TRP wisdom says "Man should not be invested. Man should not be committed. Man should newer be needy. Man should always be ready to leave. Put mission prior woman. Man who commits too early is like a women slut. Once you gave you commitment you lose power inside relations." All this has perfect sense to me, I can't argue with above statements. Most of my life I built minimum care, minimum investment relations. But after a while I realized what high quality relationships can't be achieved until both sides get engaged into relationship. Deep emotional tights are crucial for successful family. This became my priority, this is something I would like to invest into.

So, I want to be emotionally invested and emotionally connected, it brings a value to LTR. But woman could subconsciously devaluate me for being invested. So, from one side emotional investment is better to be avoided, but from other side LTR without firm emotional connection can't be successful. Again, men's commitment takes away power, but commitment must be done to allow LTR's success.

The questions are:

1) Have you ever faced a conflict I'm experiencing now? What was your solution?

2) How man can make emotional investment, get emotionally connected and gain power from it?

3) When investment is not too soon?

4) How is better to subconsciously communicate to woman what she is not a goal, she is not on pedestal, but she is a part of life puzzle or some sort of companion? I want her to realize what she is not what I chase. Happiness and offspring are my goals, but she could help with it.