Absolutely ashamed and enraged at my past and how much time I have wasted on absolute beta stupidity. Spent all of high school being beta, I was legitimately thrown out as an outcast and eaten alive. Spent the first two years of college in monk mode/ as an entitled WK.

Nearly halfway done with college and I have done jack shit in terms of building a solid social circle. Never thought about joining a fraternity since I have a 40 minute commute to campus. Going to join as many clubs/organizations as possible this year.

At the point of anger that I can't even sleep, constant racing thoughts killing my productivity. So much I'd like to change but so little time. Why can't it be like this, why wasn't it like this before, how can I make it like that? Jealousy enveloping my mind, other men constantly fucking women while I'm sitting at my mommies place doing schoolwork. Don't get me wrong, studies are important, I've got a great future ahead. These negative thoughts won't give me peace.

Advice?