Took a quick glance on my post history and saw that I've been stuck in this depression/sadness stage for at least three years (not strictly referring to TRP depression stage by definition). Some of the first threads I created could have been done today.

Basically:

  • I am unable to recognize my achievements and hence see progress

  • Self-pity and victim mentality

  • Get too attached to people (yes specially women who give me intimacy)

  • Very indecisive person

  • Unable to apply the concepts I read here/books (learned helplessness).

So maybe at this point is better living drugged up than how I have been living my last years.

Some TRP checklist I follow:

  • I lift (x4-x6 a week)

  • MMA(x1-x2 a week)

  • T levels are fine

  • Doing well on work (bachelor+master on STEM)

  • Moved out from home two years ago

  • Gone through self-help books such as NMMNG, PON,TRM

  • Barely fap (x1 a week).

  • Usually sleeping 7-8h a day.

Maybe trying to balance my brain chemistry by pills is the only way? Been thinking of maybe contacting some RP coaches or going to therapy, unsure.

I'm a man and I have to take responsibility of my life but I feel trapped in a loop of depression for years already, why would the fuck my brain/ego/subconscious or whatever keep me depressed?