~ archived since 2018 ~

"Fake Alpha"

moltenw

November 5, 2019

3 upvotes

/r/askTRP

Was in monk mode for 2 years, went from skinny no-life nerd -> healthy, fittest guy in my Uni course. White, 6'2, pretty good looking (above average for sure), and the most popular and sociable guy in my uni course, good relationships with pretty much everyone.

I'm in a weird spot because I'm essentially a "fake alpha" , where people's perception of me is a "this guy fucks" , meanwhile I'm 20 and still a virgin, and that puts a lot of pressure on me, since I know from experience - girls talk .

Considering I had ED problems in the past due to death grip + porn addiction, and the fact that I'm a virgin, I kinda don't want to ruin it by fucking it up with someone who could tell and then not get more chances from that same social circle. In general, In general, I just don't have the balls to approach or escalate, likely due to the reasons mentioned above and that perhaps my mind hasn't "caught up" yet with the reality.

I Want to get through my mental block in a low pressure environment first. That's reasonable, right? If this is a rationalization for not taking action, call me out on it.

Anyway, with all that said - I actually did approach a girl today (different course, so less pressure), and she was clearly into me. Got her number.

I've Been out of the game for so long (not sure I was ever in it to be honest), and now I'm not sure when I should contact her. Does it even matter? I know I'll see her tomorrow since we have a shared class, maybe I should just invite her somewhere on the spot instead of texting.

And regarding my overall situation - what would your approach be if you were in this "fake alpha" position, where people perceive you in a way, but you are afraid of approaching / escalating due to not having any experience?

Cheers

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Post Information

Title	"Fake Alpha"
Author	moltenw
Upvotes	3
Comments	79
Date	November 5, 2019 5:04 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ds236z/fake_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/fake-alpha.294123 https://theredarchive.com/post/294123

Comments

[–]power_cleaner 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

If you’re the fittest guy, popular and above average looking in college, why are you a virgin.

Why are those things mutually exclusive? You can be hot and still a virgin, after all - even the nastiest slut was once a virgin.

I already said the reasons, but sure - 2 years ago, I was 20 kg lighter, no muscle mass at all. I also took a gap year and did not really focus on socializing much, focusing on some business projects and my fitness.

Now suddenly, I'm back in social situations, except now - I have 2 years worth of TRP knowledge, much better social skills, great body, better grooming, haircut, fitted~ clothes, and I'm the biggest guy in my course. I'm not saying I'm THAT good either, just from the 30 people, I am at the top for sure, I can read a room well.

Problem is - I'm literally balls afraid of escalating or approaching, largely due to fear of failure because of my bluepill conditioning in the past and having bad experiences and multiple ED chances. I also don't smoke or drink, so In night environment I'm somewhat "not on the same wave" with others.

I also live with my parents and have absolutely 0 privacy in my house, so logistics are scuffed 90% of the time even if I do hit it off every blue moon when I do actually go out.

And because of my 24/7 degenerate nerdy gaming background and me working on graphic design projects, I'm rarely going out of my house other than Uni (same thing I did in my gap year), so essentially - most girls do not even know about my existence simply because I stay at home all the time, so even if I'm hot as shit, can't get laid if you don't go out of the house, right?

Of course, none of that matters, and I'm turning things around now.

As for the porn addiction / death grip... I mean, come on. When you degenerate in your house 24/7 and have zero privacy, when the moment strikes and you have to use it - you're bound to watch some fucked up shit (won't go into details, of course). I fapped like 2-4 times a day from ages 12-18~, all with death grip and edged for like multiple hours most of the time. It was fucked.

[–]power_cleaner 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Approaching during the day isn’t going to make a difference. Just go out to a party and approach there. There’s plenty of blue pilled guys who pull a lot more than a lot of guys here. It’s not your conditioning.

Since you’re hot go make a tinder and go over to the girls house.

Yeah we all lived at home too and jerked off 2-4 times a day in our teenage years. We all don’t have death grip or porn addictions. You have “ED” because you’re nervous about hooking up with a girl. How do you even know you have it if you’ve never had sex. If you’re so concerned stop jerking off everyday it’s not that hard.

Stop projecting your a false image of yourself to others. Because one they find out they’ll think you’re a loser and won’t associate with you. Also you said everyone thinks you’re super cool yet girls don’t know of your existence. I spent 3.5 years talking to guys during frat rush and could tell you who projected a fake image and who didn’t very easily.

Trp knowledge is useless unless you actually use it.

Stop projecting a false image

Quit being a pussy. If that girl is “clearly” into you like you think she is just fucking text her. You’ll know if she’s interested or not.

Quit blaming your problems on external things

We all figured out ways to get laid in high school living at home. You can figure it out too.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link

Approaching during the day isn’t going to make a difference.

For approaching at night settings? Agreed, doesn't really transfer. It's mostly about getting comfortable with the setting, not just approaching in general.

Just go out to a party and approach there.

I'll be honest - I really don't like night life. I might slightly still be in the anger phase because I hate the "slut look" , degenerate hip hop / rap songs blasting everywhere, drunk people etc. Being sober and living a completely different lifestyle - It's hard to relate, honestly, and I'm just not having fun. Sure, if I was smashing sluts in club toilets, I'd likely be having fun, but then that's not really the night life that's exciting, but moreso me banging sluts, right?

There’s plenty of blue pilled guys who pull a lot more than a lot of guys here.

Pulling doesn't matter. I know plenty of bluepill guys who are in relationships and I'd never trade my place with them. It's not about being in a "relationship" or even about getting laid, It's about how you're getting laid. A billy beta who provides resources might get some sex once in a while, but that doesn't mean you should respect that. A guy who goes clubbing every 2nd day and gets black-out drunk every time but scores once every blue moon is also no one to be admired.

Since you’re hot go make a tinder and go over to the girls house.

I've thought about this, but I feel like getting my first lay off Tinder would be cheating, it's kinda like the segment Rollo had about "Buffers" in "the rational male". It's not solving the underlying issue, and that's what I want to solve.

You have “ED” because you’re nervous about hooking up with a girl.

I'm sure that plays a part too, but when your dick literally hurts when it's being touched by a girl, at that point? No, it's definitely your daily cartoon anime titties porn that's interfering.

How do you even know you have it if you’ve never had sex

?? Because I couldn't have sex the 2-3 times I had an opportunity... because I was limp and it hurt even while getting a BJ. Like, come on.

Stop projecting your a false image of yourself to others. Because one they find out they’ll think you’re a loser and won’t associate with you.

Of course, and why would they find out? That's life dude. I'm never gonna reveal my magic even if I do succeed. People, especially women, don't care how hard you turned your life around. Just be great and shut up.

I could say the same about you if suddenly every person you knew would know that you browse TRP or knew some of your deepest secrets that you're taking to the grave, right? Pointless discussion point.

Also you said everyone thinks you’re super cool yet girls don’t know of your existence.

Reading comprehension.

I am "popular" with girls, well, as popular as one can get without escalating and asking anyone out, just teasing and flirting. What I said was essentially "girls don't know about my existence even if I'm hot OUTSIDE OF UNI, because I rarely go out of my house (other than gym etc, aka, I rarely go to clubs etc, and in my gap year - this was even more amplified).

Trp knowledge is useless unless you actually use it.

Agreed, that's why I'm taking steps to change it. Being a theory eunuch sucks ass. I'd rather be the guy who doesn't know what he's doing but succeeds than living in my head. Of course, when I'll succeed, then I'll be in the best position because I'll have the best of both worlds.

Stop projecting a false image

And what is that false image, exactly? And to whom? To myself, or to others?

Quit blaming your problems on external things

...which are? Please show me where I blamed others or external things for my own incompetence. Blaming "porn addiction" is not external, it's blaming myself for having it in the first place.

We all figured out ways to get laid in high school living at home. You can figure it out too.

Yes, we "all". It's kinda like my buddy who's the same age and spins 5 plates on rotation weekly and all of them are 8's+, and he's a complete natty too. Dude laughed at the existence of this place.

What I'm trying to say is - don't underestimate how autistic some of us can be and what our upbringing was like, I know I fucked up a lot in my developmental years, and good thing is I'm on the right path. For example - It's also hard for me to comprehend how some people are so bad at video games or what I can say now - lifting weights. When it comes to you somewhat naturally, it's tough to relate to those who just suck at it.

[–]power_cleaner 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

You hate the slut look because they don’t put out for you.

That's fair. I definitely agree with you here. I do think that's only one of the reasons.

The other one being, of course, hating them because of the blue pill conditioning in my past. I feel like if I now gave them my attention, I'd be admitting that the way these type of girls acted to me in the past was "correct". I feel like giving them my attention now is admitting my defeat.

It's like if a fat girl who was laughed at by jocks in her high school for being fat and ugly, and then later on in her life when she turns it around and becomes hot - not wanting to fuck the same type of dudes who laughed about you in the past seems very reasonable.

Is this a bad reasoning? Like I understand it from their perspective and that they even have some truth to them, because fact of the matter is - I was weak, I was socially inept etc, and they were in a lot of ways - one of the main motivators for me to change myself. BUT - that doesn't change the fact that they were shitty people - fuck em. Maybe you can take the "angle" that they weren't shitty, and that people who coddle you and tell you "everything is fine" are actually the shitty ones, thoughts on that?

Hmm, in a way, I feel It's like ditching the people that were always there for you for the people that once laughed at you just because you are finally "on their level" ... it just kinda sucks.

I don't know... maybe that's life. I'm genuinely interested in your thoughts on this, because I myself don't truly know how to feel about this situation and how should I approach it - should I completely throw away my grudge against them? At the very least, I should throw the grudge away and fuck them, doesn't mean I have to marry them or even LTR them, right?

At the same time, being angry at them doesn't help me in no way shape or form, but I'm not sure how I can "not" be mad at them, while still not validating them for their shitty behavior and how what they're doing is fucking up the society... ah shit.

Interested in your thoughts.

[–]power_cleaner 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The other one being, of course, hating them because of the blue pill conditioning in my past. I feel like if I now gave them my attention, I'd be admitting that the way these type of girls acted to me in the past was "correct".

Guys are also assholes not just girls.

while still not validating them for their shitty behavior and how what they're doing is fucking up the society

Read my last post. My fwb is currently fucking one of my teammates who's a freshman and the worst player on the team. He's smv is miles lower than mine and he's worse looking too. I'm fucking heated about that.

At the very least, I should throw the grudge away and fuck them, doesn't mean I have to marry them or even LTR them, right?

Who cares about grudges. I have them but they won't get me anywhere. I can either mop about my fwb (its my first one ever so that's probably why, never banged the same girl twice despite having tons of make outs at parties/clubs/bars).

Honestly people who coddle you are friendly and usually mean the best. People who are shitty will just stop talking to you straight up. I wouldn't think too much about it. Maybe hop off reddit and go experience the real world.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Guys are also assholes not just girls.

Yeah, of course, but why give attention to the type of people who acted shitty to you in the past? I guess it's either die with my pride and ego and doing what I believe is right (aka the moral way), or throw away the grudge and indulge in the same lifestyle that once laughed at me (realistic, and likely the more happier way, but have to throw away what makes me - me)... both are very unappealing choices, honestly. Ah shit.

Read my last post. My fwb is currently fucking one of my teammates who's a freshman and the worst player on the team. He's smv is miles lower than mine and he's worse looking too. I'm fucking heated about that.

I skimmed through it for 30-1min, and from the title alone - seems like you are just baffled why she likes that dude who is "objectively" by your . Problem is, women aren't logical, and SMV is relative, so don't sweat it. There can be millions of reasons for why she fucks him, and most of them probably aren't even logical, maybe he provides resources, maybe comfort etc.

Focus on your own shit and find other girls, sounds somewhat like scarcity / oneitis. Ask yourself - If you were fucking or at least constantly approaching 5-6 different girls and focusing on your own shit, would you be making that kind of a thread? Maybe out of curiosity, but from the tone of your comment (making you heated etc), It's clear that there's some emotional investment in it all for you.

Who cares about grudges. I have them but they won't get me anywhere.

Well yeah, grudges are useless and limit you, but it also gives you some character, right? If you were always adapting your social interactions with different kinds of people, yeah you'd be adaptable and could likely have good convos with different social groups , but you'd also be empty, because at that point - who even are you?

Others will likely ask the same questions, since you being a "different person" every time you approach a different kind of social circle is off putting and fake. I believe there should be things that make you - you, and show your character. You can't be friends with everyone, otherwise you are likely not a true friend to anyone.

Maybe that's not holding grudges, but for example - not being "buddy buddy" with certain kind of people etc. That alone helps people help with understanding what kind of a person you are.

Maybe hop off reddit and go experience the real world.

always good advice.

[–]power_cleaner 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jaznex 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]jaznex 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]jaznex 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]jaznex2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Fair, I do have a "problem" with that, if you can call it that (strong belief in my opinions). That said, it's only a problem if it doesn't work...

Think about it - if the only difference between current me and a another me was that the other me was smashing plates weekly, then suddenly - I'd look like a genius, right?

I also have very little reason to believe I'm incredibly wrong from an objective reality, because other than being a virgin and being scared of escalating - I'm doing great! I'm feeling better than 90% of the population if I'd have to guess.

I feel like everything I've done in the past years has gotten me very far ahead, especially considering where I once was.

I don't drink, smoke, live a hedonistic-free lifestyle, focus on my goals, wake up with a smile, good grades, good relationships with people, great physique etc. Just need to get more bold and take more action, especially when it comes to approaching / escalating. Just texted the girl I got a number from as well and set up a date, and she agreed. Will see how it goes!

Life is good.

[–]jaznex2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]Massap24 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

...well yeah, I agree with you.

So essentially - you are calling me out on the fact that me not approaching / escalating social circle girls is a form of rationalization, and that even if I fail miserable since I have no experience - I should do it either way because long term, I will benefit from it more, right? Could you explain why I shouldn't start in an environment where my SMV won't be reduce if I fail? Is it because it's too safe?

And regarding the "caring" part, It's an interesting topic. I know some "autistic" guys who were so "IDGAF" that asked the teacher things like "you forgot to check our homework" etc. Everyone hated those type of dudes, laughing behind their backs etc, so having retard levels of IDGAF only works if it's the right kind.

So while I agree about having an "IDGAF" mentality, social calibration is still somewhat necessary, otherwise I could come to my classroom, make monkey noises during the lecture, and still fuck every hot girl in my class. Just doesn't happen.

Feels like whenever people say "have IDGAF" mentality, what they're actually saying is - "have IDGAF mentality...but have the right type of it (which, obviously, a person who doesn't have it, can't know what that is).

[–]Massap24 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Massap24 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

You're avoiding girls within your 'own course' because that is somehow 'more pressure'

Correct

Approach social circle girl -> dick don't work -> lower smv = more pressure

approach random girl -> dick don't work -> who cares, no one finds out = less pressure

Maybe this explanation can help you understand this incredibly complicated situation.

so you're asking strangers on the internet if you should still contact her (despite being outside of this sacred course of yours

No, fuckface. I asked what's a good time to initiate a meetup because I've been out of the game for some time and I'm looking for some simple advice in that matter. I'd contact her either way.

If the outcome won't end well for me, who cares? It's not like anyone knows. I'm just gonna approach other girls in the mean time and after either way.

you seem pretty bitter and immature despite your "fake alpha" facade - how unfortunate for you.

Yes, how very unfortunate indeed.

Again - reading comprehension. Good luck.

[–]FitFinancier2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What even makes you think that your “dick won’t work”? Just doesn’t make sense

I'll say it one more time - reading comprehension.

I literally mentioned multiple times in both comments and I believe even the main post that I had ED problems in the past and a fucked up porn addiction that included edging and a death grip. I had 2-3 times to lose my virginity and all 3 times I couldn't get it up at all, likely due to cartoon titties porn fucking up what my brain finds attractive and what not. Plus, my dick hurt when someone else touched it just because of how much I masturbated, couldn't get off unless I death-gripped it for 30 minutes or some ridiculous shit like that.

I scanned your profile and saw a previous post where you told us you have 22% body-fat.

What a chump, you actually went through my history? Ahahahah, I riled you up hard, didn't I? weaaaak.

And about the 22%, I'm actually about 17-18~, was caluclating for the worst case scenario 6 months in advance, and guess what? Being big and 17-18% body fat in my 30 people course = being the biggest guy, I never said I was shredded. If you care so much to browse through my history like a rat, you can have a picture of me from yesterday - here's a link

[–]FitFinancier2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You’re a virgin, so you wouldn’t know how your dick would work until you’ve lost your virginity. New scenario and stimulus. I haven’t really read the other comments here.

Really? I’m ‘riled’ up and ‘weak’ by your cringe posting, despite all of your name calling? Why wouldn’t I try and see what else you’ve posted, in attempt to try and gain some clarity on this nonsensical post. You certainly don’t look over 20% and your arms are kind of thin looking. You’re not in bad shape, but seriously what university are you at where that pegs you at the top of the sexual marketplace? Someone’s perhaps a little delusional, which would explain your postings perfectly.

INB4 further name calling from this alpha male.

Edit: Hold on. Your course or your class has 30 people? If entire course is 30 people, what the fuck are you studying?

[–]moltenw-1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw-1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Love how you cut “and insulting them with names” from my quote because that’s exactly what you’ve been doing. Why would I be the upset one? I’m not on here mentally masturbating about “what ifs” concerning virginity.

How’s that a comeback? I’m just fucking with you at this point. It’s pretty clear you’re too delusional and stubborn to be receptive to any useful advice or input.

Okay yeah, that makes sense. But how are there only 13 people in your course? You’re saying course, not class, right? If you said you’re top whatever percent of your class I’d go yeah that’s reasonable, whatever. What course at university has like 13 people? You keep ignoring his question.

Where I’m from, we have tens of thousands of students in any given course. I went to one of the better universities in my country too. Can you see why I’m confused?

[–]moltenw0 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Love how you cut “and insulting them with names” from my quote because that’s exactly what you’ve been doing. Why would I be the upset one?

Yes, why indeed.

How’s that a comeback? I’m just fucking with you at this point. It’s pretty clear you’re too delusional and stubborn to be receptive to any useful advice or input.

Alright.

But how are there only 13 people in your course? You’re saying course, not class, right?

30 people in course.

13-14~ dudes, rest are girls.

I'm not from the U.S, a course here has about 30 people, sometimes less, sometimes more depending on the subject.

Either way, if I'm the fittest guy on average in about 30, or even as low as 10 dudes, that alone makes me in the top 3.3~-10% range, and from what I've seen - I'm without a doubt there.

You keep ignoring his question.

[–]FitFinancier2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]FitFinancier1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Brah - this was my reply to your very first comment in this thread :

Of course it doesn't bother me long term, and even the cringiest experiences that I've gone through have been positive for my development in the long term, but with that said - why try to get a bad experience if you can get a good one? Why not get past the mental block (by approaching disconnected / anynomous / low pressure environment girls) and then approach your own course girls, knowing that your dick is actually gonna work etc?**

And now we finally came to the answer

I know we’ve been shooting the shit back and forth but honestly, approach and escalate with a girl as disconnected from your course as possible and just give it a go.

It only took us about 2 hours of shooting shit to finally get to the answer of that exchange ahahah.

That's a fair response.

Cheers bro, had fun.

[–]FitFinancier1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]moltenw1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]mismm 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gaidsbola 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gaidsbola 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve helped plenty of guys like you out that have had these issues. Porn and death grip aren’t the problem. The problem is in your head. You’re putting pressure on yourself to give a performance. Let me guess? During foreplay you keep checking your dick to see if it’s hard enough, you keep thinking I wonder if my dick is hard enough, shit what if my dick isn’t hard enough? Then when your dick doesn’t feel super rock solid like you think it should you get panicky and think about it more and keep checking it more frequently resulting in it getting softer and softer.

Most guys in your situation go about sex in a very thought out mechanical way. Get girls clothes off, check dick, finger her, check dick, lick pussy, check dick, dick feels hard enough, stick dick in .

When it comes to sex you just have to live in the moment and not think about your dick period. You have a naked woman in front of you. Lose yourself in her body. Want to squeeze those tits? Do it. Want to finger blast her pussy them slap it as hard as possible? Do it. Bite those nipples? Do it. Shove your dick down her throat? Do it. Shove your dick in her? Just grab it and do it.

The key take away. Don’t focus on your dick. Focus on the gloriousness of a naked female body in front of you.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn and death grip aren’t the problem

Are you saying that death grip / porn addiction has nothing to do with ED? Because while I do understand the points you bring up very well, and I'm not denying them either - Of course I'm likely nervous as well, overthinking shit etc. BUT, when you physically can't get hard, just because of how much you wank, and that someone else touching you literally makes you feel pain - then there's veeeery likely something more to it. But sure - I'll agree that what you mentioned had a huge impact on it too, especially since I was a skinny gamer nerd with low confidence when I had those chances.

When it comes to sex you just have to live in the moment and not think about your dick period. You have a naked woman in front of you. Lose yourself in her body. Want to squeeze those tits? Do it. Want to finger blast her pussy them slap it as hard as possible? Do it. Bite those nipples? Do it. Shove your dick down her throat? Do it. Shove your dick in her? Just grab it and do it.

Yes, sir.

The key take away. Don’t focus on your dick. Focus on the gloriousness of a naked female body in front of you.

Good to remember, yeah. This again somewhat ties in together with that porn addiction though (I'll pm you).

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Imposter Syndrome

That's another way to put it, yeah. My mental hasn't fully adjusted to the change in my reception yet.

Nobody gives a shit about your image or what "sort of person" category you believe yourself to be

Of course not. I'm not gonna act like I'm the center of the universe. Even if I do fuck up in the worst possible way, unless I'm a goat fucker or get a false rape accusation or whatever, people will forget and move on.

That said, that doesn't mean there aren't consequences if I screw up, that's really the only thing I wanted to point out, and maybe it's worth to get over my mental hump first in a low-pressure / anonymous setting instead of trying to ride a bike before I can even walk.

Stop trying to qualify yourself.

When your dick don't work, it's hard not to in that aspect honestly.

People are only paying attention to your actions

Buuuuulshit. Actions are important, sure, but results are as important, if not more as well. If you take risks all the time, but fail every time - you're gonna be a laughing stock. Sure, you might care or not care about that perception, but either way - a perception is gonna be there. Just like even if an MGTOW says "women aren't worth it anymore", that doesn't mean that they have "Quit" the game. You can't "quit" the game of life.

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points 6 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

you're a beta pussy.

Alright.

Caring about what people think of you when you'll be gone from them forever in 2-3 years.

Of course I care, everyone does when they have nothing that backs them up, unless they have retard confidence.

People who have the "IDGAF" attitude can afford to not care only because they understand how social calibration works and they have proven experience to know that what they'll do works. It's kinda like when you know the rules, then you can brake them. Right now - I don't know rules, at least in practice, so I don't know shit. How does one have retard levels of abundance confidence when they have no practical track record to back it up?

And remember - it's not that I necessarily "care", I think taking a woman's opinion seriously is hilarious on it's own. THAT SAID, that doesn't mean that fucking up with said girl in said social circle WON'T limit my chances to fuck her friends etc.

All I'm saying is that I don't want to try to ride a bike before I even know how to walk. If I'd know my dick worked, It would be a lot easier to approach the social circle girls, because guess what? I did that in the past, and while it was a great experience in the long term - it did suck when half the girls in that class suddenly knew I had a limp dick. I didn't "Care care" about it, as in crying about it all the time about how mean they are, but it for sure limited my opinions incredibly with that social circle, so why the fuck would I try and repeat that same shit again? Why not lose my virginity anonymously and then approach? Maybe I'm putting them on a pedastal, but it's moreso a situation of "not shitting where I eat if I don't even know how to shit".

I get it from a confidence / getting out there perspective, but from a rational standpoint - it makes little sense.

You could be right though - I've no doubt that even if I failed in that social circle situation, the experience alone might help me in the long term, but so would the other way around, so that's a null point.

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[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Interesting enough, I've tried NoFap already.

And you are right - I did approach a lot more, and the sexual energy was also likely felt more.

There was a major downside though - I couldn't concentrate for shit after certain amount of days. So yeah, maybe my interactions and energy was better when talking to girls, but when I came home - I couldn't even do simple tasks if I was horny or hard. Sucked ass.

Right now, I masturbate 1-2 times a week, if 2 times, then on the same day, without death gripping. Sometimes porn, sometimes not, that's a tough one in the moment of being horny. I do think that it's helped though approaching the problem like this.

As for approaching on the street - agreed. Have done that in the past, and yesterday's evening, I also finally approach someone on the street after getting the number earlier. It's not as scary after you've done it once. Now I need to take that momentum and approach as much as I can.

[–]_DinViesel_ 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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