I'll keep it short.

25 M, red pulled for 4 years.

Been lifting religiously since 17. Muay thai 18 months.

6 weeks ago I woke up with excruciating lower back pain to the point where any back flexion would feel like im under paralysis. Had an MRI, bulging disc l4/5. Depression kicked in, thoughts such as "You'll never lift again", "goodbye to future gym goals", "you need to find new passions".

3 weeks it took to be able to move/walk without looking like a granny hunchback. It was hell!

Today I'm feeling around 80% and the only weighted exercises Ive done are 60kg bench, which felt good. I've done 3 muay thai sessions, with the first causing the tightness in my lumbar to return. Last 2 sessions only slight tightness after.

Ive come to a dark place and already have put on 10kg with the lack of physical activity and bad dieting. Muscle memory is amazing and I definately dont look like ive lost size or vascularity, but the obvious fat gain has me down.

Has anyone been through similar injuries? Ive been doing McKenzie stretches and core strengthening religiously and it helps to alleviate any tightness. I cant sit down anymore as it tightens my back up.

I should have taken the time off to meditate and catchup on reading through my book list, but I got stuck in a self-medicating state of smoking weed everyday instead whilst focusing on garbage achievements on mobile games. I know i can get back to the right mindset but its hard to know where you are when you go from being a gym and fitness junkie, to a sedated piece of pot smoking shit.

Any advice will help. Thx in advance