I've always been an avid reader of these philosophies. Started out from PUA but got introduced to TRP and MGTOW.
Never had a relationship before because I was socially awkward as a teen and kept on dismissing it all the way until now. ( mid 20s )

Reading all these, I know that I should exercise for myself, for my health etc. That working out for a woman is not going to end well and I should focus on myself. Well, I did. Kinda.

I somehow ended up telling myself that there is no point talking to girls, that I'm not interesting enough and I should just keep focussing on myself.

Even when I go to the gym now, I don't look forward to it. I just numb it down. I find that I tend to do that to many things in my life.

Going to the gym (Just go. You've got nothing better to do at home anyway. What, youtube? )
Eating Healthy (You don't want to go back being fat right?)

Well, it worked. I find it weird when people are surprised by how much exercising I'm doing. I don't go in hardcore, doing HIIT etc. I just take it slow and do things on my own pace. Sure, it won't be as productive but my body is improving.

Mentally, I think I'm still awkward with people, and probably depressed. I've been to the gym for almost a year now and there are no "gym buddies". I just go in, do my stuff and go out. I try not to bother others too much, didn't bother talking to the girls ( after all, I'm there to train myself / The ladies are in the gym to exercise, not hook up. )

I'll still go to the gym just because I want to be healthy. But I'm not experiencing the "Working out will make you feel good about yourself"

I don't know what else to do.

Correction: I guess I do. Saw some post that says try volunteering. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe it will turn my life around.

Any advice?

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I don't know how to fit this in.

  • Do I sound like I have depression? I never bothered to check it professionally because I am afraid that I will use it as a clutch.
  • I did consider going clubbing to meet girls or one of those places where you sing, drink a lot and at the same time, get to have women accompany you throughout. Obviously, the latter costs more but at least it should help me stop putting ladies on top of a pedestal.
    • The only thing stopping me is that I can't drink. Medically, I will be able to reach alcohol poisoning much faster than average. I also really hate the taste of alcohol.

Apologies if the post seems all over the place.