I found this sub 1 year ago, at that time i was very passive but at the same time i always tried to manipulate people acting nice, basically i was a nice guy 100% also i always felt drained mentally since i had to think ahead for every interaction and still i was never meeting the expected ending.

Later, after reading this sub i learned to be more aggressive and dominant but i quickly ended to the other side of the spectrum... at first it was nice, people respected me more but as relationships goes on (both with girls and man) i was getting isolated and not liked again. people would refer me as passive aggressive now.

I'll give you a quick example of what i mean: like today i should've studied with a group of people for an important exam but two of them (girls, of course) kept whining for the extremely hot climate and wanted to change study place from the park to a place with air conditioning, without stating and exact place to move to. so i explained to them that we all suffer from the hot climate but since we are here to study we try to stfu and get shit actually done and they finally stopped complaining.

After a while they resumed the whining so we moved to another place to eat and they quickly calmed again since it also had an air conditioner. we decided to stay there but at this point i was really mad at them, all i wanted to do was to study ad we waste a lot of time doing nothing so i changed completely (I'm usually a really chill guy which like to joke a lot) and stopped talking much and replied to them with indifference(i did not this on purpose, i just was so mad but at the same time i din't want to talk since i knew it was useless since they think they are right and i ended acting butt hurt which i know is wrong).

They of course picked something was up and kept asking me what's wrong, stop acting like this, talk to us etc at which i always replied nothing is wrong, it's useless to talk, lets study. i quickly become the "bad" guy instead of the victim of the situation. basically i acted passive aggressive.

what should i have done in that situation? how can i be more assertive without looking and acting butt hurt? I'm having a really had time overcoming this flaws of mine, i tend to get shit personally even when i should just not give a fuck.