I am 5'10. White with Blue eyes. I can squat 225. I have a muscular body now and have read the rational male. Here goes.

Hello all,

I am struggling very hard right now. I am 29 years old and work as a teacher. I don't like this career at all and am actually attempting to switch careers to become doctor. I have finished all my prereqs in a postbac and I am now studying for the Mcat. My advisors tell me I have a good shot at getting in as long as I score high enough on this test. My life consists of working and studying thats it.

The reason I have wrote here is because I am facing a huge crisis in my life. I have finally met a women whom I jive with and is very kind with me. She is my age as well and has a good job. We met on a dating app. She is very religious and says no sex and no physical touching or sleeping over until marriage. As someone who is religious (I love the study of God, just not the dogma) I understand her. She wants to save her self for marriage and I respect it.

The fundamental issue is tho, I am not very attracted to her face unfortunately. Her personality is amazing tho, very kind and warm, she laughs at all my jokes and is very friendly. I have never in all my years had a woman who likes to spend this much time with me and/or asks me questions about my life and how I feel. When she walks with me, she walks with me. She holds my arm when we walk. its's crazy, I guess I got used to women being callus towards me. But with her, it's like I am the center of the world. It is a great feeling, but something isn't right. My gut tells me not to be with her.

I grew up poor and sick basically and really had a hard time in life until most recently. In college I fell into homelessness a couple times (due to lack of finances) and had to sleep at friends houses and on university benches and then head off to cross country practice which paid for half my degree. My old man and mom could pay for shit and I was just stacked with student loans, I started teaching because I needed a job with health insurance so I accepted the low pay. However, now I am in a good place financially, it was a long road but I am finally stable. it feels good.

I have faced super bad lung issues my entire life and until recently was very sick and pale. I looked like a concentration camp victim my entire life due to my health condition. I am ethnically 100% northern European and I cannot ever tan. (I am a half ginger) I am now working out at the gym a lot these days and it shows. My social capital is well so/so. I have at least 5 solid male friends that if I needed something that would help me out with whatever. Not financially, we are all middle class basically, but they been my friends since 1st grade. I could have millionaire friends or something but I prefer my mechanic and farmer friends tbh, because we're all tight. (I am just trying to paint a picture of my life)

What I have noticed is that younger more beautiful women I try and talk to are very stand offish and rude at times to me. They could care less if I live or die basically I feel. Whereas older women 26 -32 are very kind to me and ask me out often. I get hit on by ugly, or fat women and gay dudes in public, and often. I would say, I am not great looking tho. I have been described as a normal looking White guy. I know I am not ugly and I am not good looking either.

So I am having a crisis here. The first woman to ever be super kind to me and understanding is also someone is visibly unattractive to me and I fear if I end things with her I will be single at 29, still whilst all my friends are married basically. ( I am from the midwest) I don't want to hurt her, but I also know that she is just trying to get married asap and have a family. Though I do want these things I can't get over that I could (potentially get a woman I find more attractive) I just hate this feeling. I feel like an asshole because I have faced so much rejection in my life and I don't want her to feel that way as well. But when I lay in bed at night and I try to ask my gut if she is my wife, I get a resounding no every time.

I went to my father for advice he tells me "son, if you aren't crazy about her, move on". Then he tells me, "Son, don't worry about these women, the only thing you need to focus on right now is getting a high grade on that Mcat and get into medical school, after that things will settle out." I want to get into medical school so bad and I am so close, and this woman is messing with my mind right now.

So I am thinking I should end things with this woman but it hurts me doing so. My gut tells me that she isn't my wife and I am unattracted to her face but she is so kind and nice to me its crazy. I've never felt someone to be so caring towards me. I am not used to it, honestly. I just don't know what to feel.

So please if anyone can read this and respond I would greatly appreciate it. I am struggling very hard and I could use some advice. I don't know where else to ask this. Thank you for reading, honestly.