Frame and anniversary

peopleofthepine · 2013-09-21T21:47:04+00:00

No idea what you could do but I can offer some advice as to how. Inform her that you are making plans for a certain time and tell her what to wear that is appropriate. That's it. No other information. Then go celebrate. Maybe have a couple of things to do. Don't let her know what is going to happen next. Tell her when it is time to go and then go to the next event. The whole experience will be a mystery that you alone control.

Pushnikov · 2013-09-23T14:37:26+00:00

You should take control of the night and find somethings that break the expectations. Don't go to a nice dinner, don't try and spend a lot of money.

Find some awesome activities, direct it towards things that aren't about making her special, but about what you can do together.

Kayaking, Sky-diving, Hiking to an awesome spot, etc, etc. Make it something that breaks what expectations she has and is a frame that you can control. Something that reminds her why she thinks you're awesome in the first place.

Recommend ignoring comments about how she isn't unique to you.

RedBigMan · 2013-09-21T23:02:02+00:00

You can celebrate the anniversary but make sure you do it on your terms not hers.

If you got an urge to go eat steak then go take her to a fancy steakhouse for dinner. It fits your RP frame since you are doing something you like and you are bringing her along to enjoy your company.

Take control of the evening. Have stuff planned that you enjoy and that she can enjoy in your presence. Don't let her derail your plans unless she wants to end it early to go home and ride your cock.

INomYou · 2013-09-23T18:06:31+00:00

Ask her "so what are you setting up for our anniversary?"

All too many holidays are culturally framed as man's tribute to woman. What does a woman do on her anniversary? Nothing, and then bitch if you didn't do it right. Reverse the roles, let her show you how much she appreciates you.

Now, if there's something you really want to do, by all means make sure that happens. But if you're just trying to think of an appropriate way to mark a milestone... well, as I tell my wife, "I work for a living, setting up the parties is your job."

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2013-09-21T23:37:40+00:00

Read Briffault's Law. Save your time and money for when she doesn't expect it and will therefore actually make an impact.

In my humble experience celebrating anniversaries and birthdays usually results in several major shit-tests later that night. This is because special treatment especially when she expects it...makes women feel a lot less secure.

how to properly recognize a genuinely worthy milestone.

Uh huh. You're still pedestalizing your woman right there. She's not special and she's not worthy of special treatment.

The fact that you continue to allow her to sleep in your bed at night (i.e. make yourself her meat shield), eat your food, spend time with you, and make use of a great deal of your time, energy and attention you might spend on other things.....That's plenty of "recognition." If she wasn't already worthy you'd pay no attention to her in the first place.

There are many women out there that are willing to settle for much less. And feminism has been claiming they should settle for less from men.

Basic animal training: Reward obedience and good behavior unpredictably. Ignore bad behavior completely unless it poses an existential threat to safety.

Although personally I like giving gifts to people, I don't celebrate anniversaries or birthdays of a woman I'm with. She gets enough free lunches from me already. I like giving gifts but i do it completely at random, when it's convenient for me.

Title	Frame and anniversary
Author	INomYou
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	September 21, 2013 8:56 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1muw27/frame_and_anniversary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/frame-and-anniversary.138331 https://theredarchive.com/post/138331

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