"Friends" holding me back..

alreadyredschool · 2014-11-14T15:14:27+00:00

Just get more friends and then decide for yourself.

KillYourselfLiving · 2014-11-14T16:40:06+00:00

You have two options. Either you dump your friends or you establish yourself as alpha.

Let's say you want to keep them. You will need to make changes and assert dominance. Not only that but you will need to become the leader, call the shots, eradiate calmness and solve disputes.

One huge problem arises though. Humans are programmed by nature to resist change in their social circle. If they believe themselves to be more alpha than you, you are going to have a very hard time.

Fact: People in general and your friends in particular are going to try to keep you down! I know a lot of people are going to resist that idea but this is what TRP is all about. Hard facts and the truth.

Your friends notice that you improve yourself, assert dominance, hit on girls in your social circle and feel threatened by the new you. They don't want to change the status quo and therefore they are going to try their best to prevent you from bringing a disturbance in the force of the already established group.

It is much easier to become a person of influence and respect within a new group of friends/people.

Decide for yourself.

jacks_not_surprised · 2014-11-14T15:23:55+00:00

Say you are meeting with one of these friends. Compare how you feel afterwards with how you felt beforehand...if you feel worse after, then he needs to be cut. :)

Slipstix · 2014-11-14T16:27:05+00:00

Judge your friends based on how they react to the improvements you are making in your life. When you start taking care of yourself and standing up for yourself, see if they react with jealousy, hostility, support, indifference, or whatever. You should get a good idea of who is going to hold you back and who will not.

If you have really close friends you want to keep around, try giving them some context for your behaviors so they don't get confused and accuse of you "not being yourself". Let them know you need to make some changes for your own well-being. No decent friend could blame you for that.

MrEiffel · 2014-11-14T22:06:41+00:00

When you're old friends start to annoy and you realise they only suck away your time and bring you no benefits, you need to cut them away.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-11-14T22:12:08+00:00

Take the bucket of crabs analogy. When one crab tries to escape the bucket, the other crabs will pull it back down.

Those aren't friends.

oldredder · 2014-11-15T14:57:32+00:00

Well: why are you friends with each such person in the first place? For any situation where 1 friend in question is holding you back, how bad is it, and what do they do to improve your life at all?

Once you think about that you'll figure out who your real friends are.

You don't need examples - that would fill an entire life time of reading - you need sensibility about value & self-respect and what you want in your life in being respected, and not being exploited or put down.

It's that simple.

tombreck2 · 2014-11-14T15:38:29+00:00

How can I notice when it is time for me to get some new friends?

I recently went on a two week vacation with no cell phone service. After two weeks when I turned my phone back on I could tell who were actual friends and who were acquaintances

JakofClubs · 2014-11-14T16:19:24+00:00

I've hand to upgrade my set of friends twice in my life. I had to ditch my high school friends in college and I had to ditch my college friends that got married/had kids/can't ever go out. I didn't tell them to fuck off, I just don't initiate contact anymore.

Title	"Friends" holding me back..
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	November 14, 2014 3:06 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2maetb/friends_holding_me_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/friends-holding-me-back.193399 https://theredarchive.com/post/193399

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