Gaming feels forced

ekmetzger · 2019-09-19T16:07:09+00:00

worrying about running out of shit to talk about.

Problem identified. None of this shit matters. Have fun with it, amuse yourself and completely cut out your inhibitions or this will likely never go well for you. Embrace the fundamental absurdity of life/pick up and this stuff becomes pretty god damned breezy.

lugrulo · 2019-09-19T18:17:18+00:00

You don’t have to talk to them. Just play with them. Game, as in the name, is a game.

It should be fun and flirty. Tease them. Push pull.

If you’re not having fun it’s most likely because you’re not playing the game.

MattyAnon · 2019-09-19T17:44:12+00:00

A lot of my game feels forced

A lot of things feel forced until you deeply get them.

Things go well about 1/2 the time

Good results.

I feel like I have a lot of trouble coming up with shit to say/worrying about running out of shit to talk about.

Talk about anything that interests YOU.

I also probably need some advice on how to build rapport with a girl without just exchanging information (where are you from, what do you study, ect..).

Ok.

First: DO NOT SEEK RAPPORT.

Rough model is: build attraction (emotionally charged/spiked convo) and then with mutual attraction established you build connection (which is more like subdued mutual interest and comfort and mostly just time) but with occasional emotional spikes (to remind her about the attraction thing without falling into brother/LJBF mode).

I think you're asking about "comfort without interview questions" and mostly it's about talking normally about normal things... spend as long as you can on each subject and try to avoid the boring things (job / location / circumstances).

Working on my charisma but it feels pretty unnatural to me right now. Trying to enhance my game without acting like a fake fuck is hard. Any advice is appreciated.

Relax / practice / don't pressure yourself too hard.

[deleted] · 2019-09-19T16:03:12+00:00

If you are forcing game, that means you shouldn’t do it right now. It should come with passion not force

Domebeers · 2019-09-19T19:09:49+00:00

You are too concerned, you need to be ZFG (zero fucks given), that's what outcome independence is about. And this "only good half the time" stuff, you're being too hard on yourself. Think of it like hitting in baseball, you are going to fail more than you succeed. The failure you need to forget about because gaming has to be fun otherwise you'll burn out. And everyone fails kid, if someone is telling you they slay every pussy they approach they are lying. Plus you are 21, so you are playing on extra hard mode right now. At that age if I approached 100 women and 1 was a go, then that was winning. That honestly should be your attitude.

The very fact you are approaching is the big win. You are doing fine.

I know this stuff is old, but youtube has clips of strauss's old routines, like cube game. That's a good example at rapport building. When you watch it, watch it, watch his body language, tone of voice, a lot of the communication and rapport building has to do with non verbal.

Cut the 20 questions stuff out. Guess, play games, I'm sure that stuff is on the sidebar, basic stuff.

Two tricks: You either pretend you've slept with the girl, or the girl is your kid sister. That should help conversation flow because now she's just a person, not a girl youre trying to sleep with (and hence getting nervous talking to).

A lot of this comes down to reps. Get your reps in is a big thing, if you are doing that (and calibrating, ie: looking at what works FOR YOU and what doesn't work FOR YOU) you'll be crushing it sooner than you think.

Be confident brah you got this.

handsome_phantom · 2019-09-19T19:58:11+00:00

Build up your social skills. Go out and talk to everyone you can. Compliment them, make small talk. Even women you have no desire to have sex with. Talk to them without the intention of having sex with them. Sooner or later it will all come naturally to you and you’ll be a more sociable person. You need social skills to flirt in the same way you need to be able to bench the weight of the bar before you start adding weights.

no_re-entry · 2019-09-19T18:37:51+00:00

Everything you do for the first time feels weird.

Keep at it and keep practicing and it will begin to feel natural.

Personally, I see every game conversation as just that, a GAME. I'm in it to have fun, who you talk to should be having fun too, So just talk about whatever you want and shoot the shit about it like you've known them forever. Be playful.

A really great exercise my buddy taught me for approach anxiety and talking anxiety was to approach a woman, start a conversation, and then TRY TO SAY ANYTHING YOU CAN TO GET THEM TO LEAVE. So now the game is, how do I make this chick run away from me. You know why this game works? Because it's actually really freaking hard to get them to leave a lot of the time, you can say all sorts of random fucked up shit and they'll still be standing there. This game immediately puts you in the worse case scenario practice but is actually a lot of fun. Def takes the pressure off of regular conversation. (Just don't say obvious super fucked up shit that will get the cops called on you)

For charisma, I think this will just be solved by talking about things you actually want to talk about. Though if you want to learn charisma do your research on how to be charismatic. Watch movies/tv/videos about charismatic people and analyze what they're doing. Don't copy cat them or you will seem super fake and it will bite you in the butt.

ReasonablyGoodMexica · 2019-09-19T20:52:39+00:00

Think about the first time you rode a motorcycle, or drove a car. It's likely you felt some stress, but overtime you got used to how the ride works and you relaxed. Women are exactly the same, except they ride you.

Just keep going, perseverance is the name of the game.

Title	Gaming feels forced
Author	fapstronot118
Upvotes	19
Comments	10
Date	September 19, 2019 3:54 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d6g0o0/gaming_feels_forced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gaming-feels-forced.288662 https://theredarchive.com/post/288662

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