Getting ghosted after making out

YoureTrollingRight · 2019-01-29T06:32:10+00:00

I’m guessing you live with your parents?

Depending on your age that is probably an instant next for a lot of women.

epictetuslifts · 2019-01-29T06:50:38+00:00

You are 30+ and don't have your own place? Rather than chase tail you need to get your shit together

IceColdHell · 2019-01-29T08:17:23+00:00

Your problem is that you didn’t have logistics sorted out, Be it your place’s chaotic state or probably you not knowing where she lives.

Next time, If your place is still a mess, you shouldn’t care if she’s a plate though, gather enough logistics about her and make plans close to where she lives, for if you want to go all the way, it would be at her place.

TheRedPillRipper · 2019-01-29T08:39:33+00:00

logistics that I don't want to elaborate here.

The more information the more specific the help/solutions. It's your call though how much you want to share.

It's not quite a trust issue as a vetting one. Not having your own place could be considered a turn off but it's not insurmountable. After my first divorce I was stuck as a 30 something back at my family home. I probably had more women(sex) through there than my entire 8 years of marriage hehe!

I'd suggest giving your roomies a heads up and letting them know you might bring a date back. If they're making out with you then they're interested. Give them plausible deniability to come back to your place e.g. "Come to my place and check out my wine/Pokemon/vinyl collection. If you're a good girl you might get a glass.." You get the idea. Once she's in your bed/bedroom it's pretty simple isolate & escalate from there. Great tip I learned here was to have the bed as the only furniture suitable for sitting in your room. Worked wonders!

The reason for being ghosted isn't too important. Logistics are. If your logistics are tight then you won't put yourself in positions to be ghosted.

What is the general norm? "Man takes a woman to his place"?

The norm for me is take woman wherever I want. If she doesn't follow another will. This should be the norm for most but isn't. If you're getting them in your car and giving them mouth to mouth then you're halfway there. It's on you to work out your "logistics" if closing is your goal. If you want it bad enough you'll find a way.

Godspeed and Goodluck!

Note: If you want to fuck at her place you'll have to steer the conversation/direction there. Probe until you find something she's proud of/interested in/wants to show off; then after your date steer covertly towards that direction. That you'd love to "see" whatever she has to show off. e.g. " I want to/Let's get out of here and go check out your Pokemon collection. I'll grab us a bottle of wine on the way."

Vikingcel · 2019-01-29T06:09:58+00:00

Just fuck in the car

xx-Rain_Maker-xx · 2019-01-29T10:01:04+00:00

OP. Read all the comments of your post and think about it. Can you see the pattern? The only thing I see is excuses, you have excuses for absolutely everything. I'm also international PhD student and I don't have any of the issues you have. My landlord also doesn't allow girls and I don't give a fuck and bring them anyway. Do you live with your landlord? Then move on. I've also had sex with girls the same night I met them in the car or in hotels. Women are aware you're a student and they won't judge harshly if you don't have your own place. The thing you need to improve the most is your game, more than anything else.

alphabachelor · 2019-01-29T10:12:13+00:00

Focus on the PhD, not women.

Especially if its going to bring huge earning power for the rest of your career.

Life is much easier when you have lots of cash.

nofucksgiven-exe · 2019-01-29T11:51:36+00:00

Is not being able to bring anyone to my place considered a turn off? or in other words, does this create a trust issue?

Possibly a convenience issue. She might have a similar situation as well, but your value as a sexual partner does to some extent involve having a place to have sex.

Am I getting ghosted because of this? What is the general norm? "Man takes a woman to his place"?

Hard to tell. It's certainly possible she thought you were a bum who couldn't afford your own room.

It's also possible she just had a better guy lined up and didn't have the guts to actually mention that she decided on someone else.

All in all, this is probably a value issue, as most women would do what it takes to get a high value man in bed. You made it pretty far with this girl so just keep at it. I notice down below you considered getting your own place and are 30+, which should be a given to he honest for many in the dating scene. Personally, I don't go for a girl who isn't comfortable with me having some perfectly decent roommates, but I'm younger.

CheesyStravinsky · 2019-01-29T09:51:36+00:00

You're a graduate student. Why kind of women are you trying to fuck that they don't get that PhD students are broke?

If you want, you can just easily lie about it to make it seem like a proximity issue.

You meet them at a place near where they live, start making out on the date, and when they want to go back to your place just say you live over an hour away. Then they will always just be like "oh fuck...ok let's go to my place!"

DarkRedLens · 2019-01-29T10:47:55+00:00

First of all, yes you'll be much better with your own place.

Also, try not making out before you lay the girl. Meaning get to hers and then make our with her and have sex.

neso225 · 2019-01-29T11:38:21+00:00

You can get a room for one night i guess

BPasFuck · 2019-01-29T13:09:00+00:00

Part of it is that these women are vetting you-- still trying to classify you as a potential provider.

They want to see how you live, so as to better determine your financials. Also to see if you are a slob. Etc.

You need to find some way to 'organically' move things to her place, before you start making out in the car.

You want to see her dog. Her cat. Her drapes. Whatever.

If you can't figure out how to engineer a smooth means of having things get over to her place, then you need to be ready to host her at yours.

And, I just finished reading through some comments, and see where u/theredpillripper has pretty much already touched on the stuff I'm telling you. Good jerb.

ChemicalGiraffe · 2019-01-29T10:53:54+00:00

In my country you host no matter what. Last week thugs appeared from under the girls bed before the away match started. 😂 he had to walk home with only a towel

Title	Getting ghosted after making out
Author	kopa-shamsu
Upvotes	12
Comments	47
Date	January 29, 2019 5:38 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/akwxc4/getting_ghosted_after_making_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-ghosted-after-making-out.210349 https://theredarchive.com/post/210349

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