Help another man make a come back

throwawayaballsack · 2021-02-06T13:31:05+00:00

Get after it bro. I recommend reading ‘The Obstacle is the Way’ by Ryan Holiday. Great to snap out of victim mentality.

The part about not having self control about words because diet, sleep etc indicates victim mentality. You’re reasoning is solid but you’re also deflecting ownership of the inputs which you do have control over. What I mean is you have control of your diet, sleep, attention management and all of the inputs that = the outputs.

The reason this is hard which you obviously recognise is because you’re in a downward spiral. But the good news is that all you need to start changing the tide is to take steps in the right direction. Momentum will carry you after a while. Forgive and move on quickly after mistakes.

If you chip a tooth while eating a meal, you wouldn’t take a hammer and knock the rest out would you?

Just get back on the horse. Keep moving. Made a mistake? All good, get back on course, learn to meditate and be nice to yourself, worry will cause you to make the same mistakes more than once and the instinct is to feel bad.

Inputs and outputs. Don’t like the output? Amazing. This is a chance to change an input and monitor changes.

Start treating your life as a science experiment.

This advice is to myself as much as it is to you.

Feel free to ignore what isn’t relevant to you

Yasfs · 2021-02-06T13:48:28+00:00

God Does Not Change the Condition of A People Until They Change What is Within Themselves (The Holy Quran chapter 13 verse 11)

Change your environment, move to a new town start a new beginning.

jellysquat · 2021-02-06T13:50:52+00:00

Firstly I want to say no one here will truly understand the hell you've been through. There is no advice we can give here that will make it any better. You've been dealt an incredibly bad hand.

Secondly I very strongly suggest you start meditating and make this part of your daily routine. It's a way to help better manage your anxiety and mental health issues.

Thirdly I very strongly suggest you start exercising. Consistency here is most important. So start small, and keep building on it. Weights, running, push ups, whatever you choose. Just start and don't stop.

On exercise and meditation. You must make time for your wellness or you will be forced to make time for you illness.

Last, I can see you blame others for a lot of your problems. I'm not talking about your family but your boss at work. This is a huge red flag. This and 'radical left wingers'. You have to take personal responsibility. Responsible means RESPONSE-ABLE. You choose how you want to respond. Either with anger, understanding, amusement. Or you can give others the power to hurt you. You GIVE people this power because only you can choose how you respond. Who do you want to be? How you see the problem IS the problem. You badly need to wake the fuck up here.

adam-l · 2021-02-06T13:26:08+00:00

Yeah, you might die of heart attack. Oh well, that'd be bad, but what can you do?

Then again, you might not. In that case, you seem to know what to do.

TruePr0l0gue · 2021-02-06T16:04:49+00:00

Alright comrade, let’s roll. With ya from America

Socrates-3000 · 2021-02-06T16:43:37+00:00

You need a change in mindset, CBT can help. I suggest starting off with reading the book, "Feeling Good" by David Burns.

CharlieKing93 · 2021-02-06T15:46:18+00:00

Lifting weights is very good to battle anxiety. Find some people who lift, and are better than you. Just make sure you go hard when exercicing. You'll sleep ten times better. Focus on this for the first three months, then you can add something else.

bachbozo · 2021-02-06T19:46:12+00:00

Could relate more to this than you may possibly comprehend.. Have faith brother...

I was plagued with OCD all of my childhood and in regards to the lack of sleep; I would stay up until 4am every night for months on end to defend against hypothetical robbers, analyze my pulse for hours in bed convinced I had some heart defect, scrutinize every interaction my anxiety riddled self would fuck up, etc. It was bad... Years and years of suffering that no matter how I hard I tried to escape, I'd only sink deeper into the quick sand.

Long story short, I have now been obsession free and sober from amphetamines for almost a year now solely due to the carnivore diet, Psilocybin, and buteyko breathing method. The few times I have cheated on wheat/sugar/etc. resulted in panic attacks like the ones that you describe and return of the wretched OCD; refined carbohydrates are poison and 90% of our serotonin is in the small intestine.. The carnivore diet saved my life and nullifies the obsessions unlike any other diet I've come across.. Psilocybin, which I prefer in massive quantities, is a one way ticket to complete consumption in living the healthiest/most compassionate life possible. It is the red pill in physical forum.. And last but not least, most of us are compromised by hyperventilating and it is a primary catalyst of anxiety; Buteyko breathing stabilizes your oxygen/c02 levels and is pivotal in detaching.

You got this, hope my advice helps in one way or another.

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kcaJrebmuL · 2021-02-06T15:24:57+00:00

You have the determination, and I see that you are aware that only you can turn your life around, so that's a good first step.

Others already wrote some good tips, so I won't write about those things, but can add something to the sleep problems, which you mentioned multiple times. There is no simple solution, but a combination of a few things can help. First, create a sleep schedule and don't deviate too much from it (+- 1 hours at max). Use your bed only for sleeping, don't lay in the bed during the day doing anything else (except you have some business to do with a chick:)) Have your last meal at least 4 hours before going to sleep. Dim lights and don't stare at blue lights (screens) at least 1 hour before sleeping. If you tend to wake up easily at night, then try using earplugs. It is uncomfortable at the beginning, but it can work wonders.

A few book recommendations. They are not trp books:
Susan Forward: Toxic parents (Although I don't really agree on the parts where it recommends confronting your parents and trying to salvage the relationship with them, but it certainly helps you to better understand your upbringing)
Eric Bernie: Games People Play (provides an interesting viewpoint on social interactions)

You can do it dude. And I hope you'll find some inner peace in the process. Wish you all the best!

r32_skyline · 2021-02-06T15:46:12+00:00

The welfare state funded my non functioning alcoholic father whilst I suffered mental health problems upstairs

So it kept you alive then, in the end the banks have ruined economies so the welfare state is the least governments can do whilst stealing from their citizens. Drinking is it's own issue.

Kuneyah · 2021-02-09T05:11:16+00:00

Stay strong Hermano I believe in you.

RossGellerBot · 2021-02-06T12:33:21+00:00

whom I used to be

Title	Help another man make a come back
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	24
Date	February 6, 2021 12:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ldwt8b/help-another-man-make-a-come-back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/help-another-man-make-a-come-back.1597126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1597126

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