TL;DR Old flirt from school (no hookup) is back in town after years of no contact. We’ve planned on meeting up, but the meetup wasn’t per say my idea, although it was founded on a suggestion I made. I therefore have trouble figuring out if it’s merely a friendly meetup or something more. Help me contextualize.

While I did read some PUA stuff back in the day, trp is fairly recent (about a year), and I’ve begun the process of improving myself. My confidence and ability to handle awkward situations has improved massively in that time, but I still have a looong way to go overall

The fuckup in the past Big party. We drank beer, we talked, you know the deal. We danced for a bit. Then I noticed all her friends had gone. She (or they) had effectively isolated herself. Now, this was before I had any clue that this was a thing.

After that is where it went downhill. As we were talking, I asked her about something she was wearing, as it allowed me to get close to her, touch a bit. Thing is, this particular piece of accessory had quite the emotional backstory, relating to the death of a family member. For some reason, this completely threw me of balance, I did not know how to act. I became anxious. She still stuck around tho. But after a while, I couldn’t take it anymore, and began asking about where all the others had gone, effectively cockblocking myself. As I recall, she was hesitant about this, but I powered through ‘cause ain’t nobody gonna stop me acting like a wuss when I feel like ityaaay…gome

Sometime after this ordeal, I asked her out for an event. She hesitantly accepted, but got sick the day of (go figure). So, I gave up, didn’t see the point in trying anything further. Once or twice after, I found her orbiting me slightly (sitting next to me rather than her friends), but I never thought much of it, at least not to the point where I ever tried anything again. Some months after, she moved out of state, sealing the coffin.

That was about four years ago. I haven’t had any contact with her since then – until now.

The invitation Recently I saw something on social media that indicated she might have moved back, so I hit her up with some fun remark, ‘cause why not. After my initial message she wanted to catch up (texting) so we did. Turns out she hadn’t moved back, so I thought why bother then. Once the conversation got a bit stale, I said ‘nice catching up, if I don’t bump into you, maybe I’ll text you in a few years’, and left it at that.

Well, she wrote a few times after that, when there was some occasion, and I returned the favour. But always brief convos. Given that we have a common hobby, at some point during these brief interactions, I noted It could be fun to do something hobby related together (which would be possible without being anywhere near each other, due to the magic of the internet). In other words, I was not trying to arrange a meetup, albeit a shared experience nonetheless. She said that she would actually be in town not too far in the future, if I wanted to meetup and talk about it. I said sure, let’s do it.

The question Given that I had a flirt going with this girl (never anything more than that, mind you), I’m having a difficult time contextualizing the meetup. Are we merely going to hang out and talk about what we might do for this common hobby, or is there something more in the cards… One thing worth noting, is that we’ve never hung out just the two of us before. Hanging out with her and others was a seldom occurrence as well, and always related to a party of some sort.

Don’t get me wrong – if it’s just a friendly meetup, that’s fine. But not really knowing it going in is annoying, somewhat stressful even, as I can’t ‘mentally prepare’. Now I “know” that I should be outcome independent, from which one could argue, that it doesn’t really matter what kind of meetup it is. I should simply take it wherever it goes. And if that is indeed y’alls assessment, I shall do my best to adhere to that mindset. With that said, is this merely I friendly meetup? And more importantly… should I not worry about it, as thinking about it will inevitably just make it worse, no matter the type of meetup.

Or maybe four years is enough time that the flirting – the good and the bad – is of no consequence?

Full disclosure: this girl used to be my unicorn, at least somewhat. And I know that means trouble, even if it’s been years. But is that truly, in and of itself, reason to not try anything?