Alright so I’m a 29M, I’ve been reading redpill for about 3 years, few months later I got into an LTR, about 6 months after that my older brother died, it’s been a fucking struggle to say the least, he was the best, the epitome of the red pill without even knowing it, he wasn’t in the best shape but he was the prime example of not giving a single fuck, owned a super successful tattoo shop, drove sick cars, fucked so many super hot girls, everyone in my city knew his name.

Bit more backstory but my dad left my mom when I was like 3 , my dad also ran successful tattoo shops but that made him super busy which means I was basically raised by my step mom who made it abundantly clear that her biological son was her favourite and she didn’t really like me, when I was 16 I dropped out of high school, and left home, I was basically homeless for 2 years( doing nothing but drugs and drinking all day everyday) until my brother saved me and gave me a job at the shop and the career I have today.

Since he died I’ve been fucked, I’ve never really had anyone to talk to, and I don’t even know how to talk about my feelings, I just shut down and close everyone and everything out, I don’t communicate anything, needless to say I’ve been incredibly depressed, I have no motivation to do anything, I don’t lift, I don’t eat well, I don’t skate or play guitar or do anything that used to make me happy, the best way I can describe it is if you’ve seen the movie “get out” I feel like I’m in the sunken place, I watch my self get worse and worse and feel like I can’t do anything about it, I feel fucking helpless.

Two weeks ago my ltr broke up with me stating I’m just way to distant and I don’t fuck her enough and that’s the thing it’s not that I didn’t want to fuck her, I just have zero libido, I have no motivation to do anything, including fucking, I’m going to see a grief therapist next week, I’ve never done therapy so I know nothing about it I just don’t know what else to do, I know I’m just getting worse and worse.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to pull myself out of this depression it would be greatly appreciated because idk what the fuck to do.

TL/DR : my brother died and I’ve been incredibly depressed ever since, need help getting out of it without pumping myself full of medication.