In short, there is no in between with me.

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It is either I shut off 100 percent, or I get into a shouting match and lose my shit. Reason being is, I have become accustomed to either lying entirely to avoid confrontation, or hold everything inside until I feel it is necessary to start communicating and it comes off as extremely passive.

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This is learned behavior from growing up with Baptist Christian parents who believe if you drink you are an alcoholic, if you have sex, it is a sin, and you have to get married before you move out.

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Any tips on how to become more assertive and become a better communicator? I overall lack the patience I need -- because I typically cut people off altogether with zero explanation which I think is a bad way to live life.