Hello,

I have been browsing TRP for a while now. I have read the sidebar, read the material and learned the views. I have seen the posts about not being upset at women, to spinning plates, being a better man, etc.

My question is how do I start training myself to actually using all of this?

I suffer from terrible social anxiety. My brain locks up and I can't seem to think when I'm interacting with someone; that or I think too much and it seems to be that I end up saying nothing. I've just started hanging out with a girl who doesn't speak much at all, is nice to look at but sort of a brick wall when it comes to conversation. I suppose I'm not much better but I'm used to women blabbing non-stop.

In terms of myself, I've started hitting the gym and I tried re-applying to school but it seems that I just can't get into it. I can't get my focus on anything. I can't motivate myself. I don't find passion in anything and I lack anything to strive for.

I see the red pill but I can't seem to swallow it. I'm so used to being nice, to being a person who tries to "better the world". I've experienced the hurt of hyper gamy and orbiters firsthand and yet I cannot bring myself to grow. I just get very angry or very depressed.

Please, TRP, give me some advice.