I'll try not to whine too much.

Started casually dating after two years in a lack-luster relationship, went out with a girl that was VERY into me. Someone who I would consider out of my league in many aspects. It had its highs but I constantly fucked things up over 3 dates with awkwardness, shyness, and a general sense of unconfidence.

I'm 6'2, muscular, above average face/appearance and I consider myself an intelligent, analytical person. I've been grinding self-improvement for almost two years straight now.

My beta characteristics keep bubbling up from the surface. Jealousy, clingyness, possessiveness, etc.

I feel that I have no value. I faked it until I made it and then my shell cracked and the blue beta boy seeped out.

How do I develop myself as a person? I'm an introvert with many hobbies, but I still feel empty inside. I have 'only-child' syndrome and constantly crave validation of some kind.

How do I toughen the fuck up internally? How do I become a man and not a 24 year old child? Do I need to be alone for a while first? Is a good-looking loser still a loser in the eyes of women?

I'm very frustrated at myself and I'll do anything to fix this.