I have been steadily working through the red pill sidbar, as well as some MGTOW stuff and some generalised self help stuff such as jordan petersons 12 rules for life.

However, I am struggling to internalise it.

I remember it but I find myself at a subconscious level struggling to accept the truth and let go of the lies I have been told my whole life. Part of me still craves a LTR and thinks women will make me happy and whole.