I am 36 years old, and I was pretty beta in my younger years. I've made a ton of progress, including having a relationship with the girl of my dreams a few years ago. But I have become pessimistic about women to the point where I haven't been looking for a new girlfriend, and I didn't really care about not having sex lately. I believe it's more trouble than it's worth.

My karate dojo moved to a bigger place in September, and they added a Crossfit program. After a week or 2, I liked the new 26 year old Crossfit instructor so much that for the first time in my entire life I quit doing everything wrong. I stopped playing video games, stopped eating junk food, I worked out hard, etc. It's important to note that my entire life I had been trying to motivate myself to be the best I could be, and I couldn't do it. But at age 36, this girl had inspired me to fix all these mistakes simultaneously. Yes, this put her on a pedestal.

I think I was trying to make myself good enough for her. It's important to mention that I have a ton going for me already. There are plenty of girls that would love to have me. But I'm chasing a 9 or a 10 here with a great personality.

I had concluded she was single. I didn't want to wait too long, and risk her starting a new relationship, so I was going to ask her out. I was trying to move communication with her forward, and speed things up a little, and I contacted her on Facebook. (She was friends with a few people from the dojo and a couple of mutual friends from the area.) I basically said "let me know if you can see this message." And she ignored me, but she saw the message because Facebook marks messages as "read."

I was really annoyed that she couldn't even respond "yeah, what's up?" But I know the wrong thing to do is to keep typing, or get mad. Anyways, I couldn't hide the fact that I liked her, and I continued light-hearted hitting on her in the next few weeks. I'm pretty sure she knew I liked her.

I know, I know. I have oneitis. I put a girl on a pedestal. I pushed her away by giving her too much attention. I messed up.

Then she signed this guy up for her Crossfit program. I didn't consider him a threat. To be completely honest with you, I said to myself "why would you start a relationship with that average dude, when I'm pursuing you?"

2 weeks later, I asked him, and he told me he was her boyfriend. I acted calm, but I accidentally went home without my bag. When I went back in an hour, she was standing there looking at me, and she had the textbook look on her face that said "I just played you so hard." Totally smug and self-satisfied. I haven't been back in 3 weeks because I really don't feel like looking at this situation. It breaks my heart.

So what do I do? I don't think I should do Crossfit, and hi-five her damn boyfriend, while I try to stifle my emotions. But karate is 2 days a week, and she is there having a great time with the boyfriend right next to the karate. It's impossible to ignore, and she is very loud.

I am about 6 months away from getting a black belt- I've been there 4.5 years. I don't really care about the belt, and I could definitely live without doing karate there. But there is a very huge embarrassment factor for me if I leave there because of this. Also, people will be very disappointed that I'm not there, because I make the dojo a better place with my skills, intelligence, and character.

TLDR: Hard to summarize, but the girl of my dreams ignores me, starts a new relationship, and now I have to choose between watching them have a great time in a social setting, or walking away from my karate dojo. She seems to be really enjoying dissing me, and it is very aggravating to be around.