25, living with strict parents, constant loud house with a lot of kids, really really broke, haven't been laid in over a year, and cut all friends off + been trapped in house due to covid. Really just at lowest point in my life tbh.
Positives: Been busting my ass off everyday to get out and build a career for my future after I wasted my early twenties partying, (Software Development), amassed a lot of good habits and have learned a ton about myself over the past couple of months. I journal, meditate, workout, read, learn and I've come to enjoy all of it. I know how to live finally. Totally off of social media and have cut contacts with everyone.
The thing is, I'm super proud of myself and I'm pumped for my future. But no matter how many good habits I've come to cultivate, read what I needed to read about the way our minds work, the one thing I can't seem to get rid of is porn. I would go 3 or 4 days, maximum being 15 days and then I'd succumb.
I am an addict. I am trapped inside my parents place until I can find a job and move out, but no matter how much I keep myself busy, or do, I always seem to fap after a certain amount of days. This is the last bad habit I can't kick. What's fucked is I don't even do badly with women. I'm a very sociable dude in general but porn addiction has seriously held me back and now that I literally can't do anything or go anywhere, this addiction has become what I use to calm myself down every couple of days. This isn't something I want in my life.
So how do I get rid of this?
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