Seems like the only way I get the motivation to improve myself or strive to be alpha is when life fucks me(cheated on, fired, deppression, etc). My motivation to succeed skyrockets in the process of overcoming thses life's challenges. But once life gets comfortable I lose the motivation and discipline to strive to become better. I'm worried that once this pain passes I'll revert back to being beta.

Tough love or criticism are welcome. Nobody in my life has ever given me it other than this community. It hurts and I might deny it in the moment but I find myself appreciating it later on. I've always wanted a role model or a father figure to look up to, but all I've gotten was a tough mother.

My background: I'm 24. Still got 2 years to get bachelor degree because I screwed around. Live with my parents. Got cheated on first GF(8 months). 2nd GF (1 and half years) brunch swung recently and i still have major oneitis and still can't swallow the pill fully. Only thing going for me is my game(RSD and TRP)and physique from lifting.