How do you keep conversations from falling flat?

BudapestPUA · 2015-09-20T00:06:50+00:00

Takes two to have a conversation. If the other party is not interested you can't do shit.

afroose · 2015-09-20T02:28:27+00:00

Stop feeling awkward during silence stare at them if nothing happen just Say " ok ill see you later" . People are boring

SkorchZang · 2015-09-20T05:32:59+00:00

Here's how you can think about it to instantly set yourself on the right path.

Imagine two islands. You're on yours, she is on hers. You holler at each other, this is your basic small talk. It always wears itself out relatively quick, because everyone says the same old automatic cliches, and some people are stupid enough to actually pepper it with boring ass personal details about their life that nobody gives a damn about hearing.

When she asks how are you, she doesn't ACTUALLY give a shit, an efficient conversation-maker knows this and holds no malice when he's answering "peachy, you?" regardless of what his actual situation is at the moment.

Two islands, each person on his own one, and niether is brave enough to do anything about it. That's the default setting for a lot of "arm's length" social interaction, but it doesn't have to be like that.

Imagine the two islands again. Now instead of hollering, you abandon your island and take a swim over to hers. She's utterly surprised and taken aback: never expected you to be a swimmer! Who does that! She doesn't know what to say now, the cliches do not really apply do they? But look, you are grinning and feeling good in your skin apparently, so she gets on that good feelings ride too and starts giggling... This is what fun and memorable conversationalists always do, step one, they abandon themselves and have not a care in the world about what they'll "look like", or what is happening to their ego's territories while they're away. They penentrate into the other person's world, deliberately. Using intuition, guesses, astrological bullshit, whatever is at hand. The key is get across the water, onto her island, joining her there in HER WORLD, while leaving your own behind for a time. Once you're on her island, the time for cliches is past. Raise hell - tease her, make fun of shit you see there, and have a good time in general, because you don't care. Your island is waiting for you back there whenever you want it, you're just visiting this girl for shits and giggles.

fakefalse · 2015-09-20T02:32:15+00:00

Enjoy the uncomfortable silence. Everyone hates it. Cringe even. So learn to sit back and watch them writhe to come up with something clever.

I am learning to let it hang and let the other person come to me. It's not so weird any more. There's nothing to lose. Who cares.

Oh and stop looking for validation in others. That's why you try so hard to keep the conversation going.

Metalaggeddon · 2015-09-20T12:25:00+00:00

You don't have to keep them from falling flat.

Two rules that save so many men from making their own lives harder.

Leave on a high note.

Pregnant pause is more valuable than you can imagine.

throwawaylifespan · 2015-09-20T22:58:02+00:00

Stop trying too hard. If you can't think is anything to say, close the conversation down.

Dead air is the way that a conversation indicates it's over. Start a new conversation or walk away, don't try CPR on a dead conversation. Stiffs don't dance.

Title	How do you keep conversations from falling flat?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	September 19, 2015 10:46 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3lm2jv/how_do_you_keep_conversations_from_falling_flat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-keep-conversations-from-falling-flat.154057 https://theredarchive.com/post/154057

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